𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝┊✓

cento e cinquenta e três

30 september
15:25

i'm crying.

i just want to be in your arms,
i cry harder.

i just want to be the reason of your smile,
i cry weakly.

i want

— pause —
§
— fin —

15 october
21:36
[ a month and ten days ]

i'm smiling
so fucking bright,
the goddamn
- ̗̀ s t a r s ̖́-
would be jealous.

no longer do i
spend my nights,
burning my cigarettes
and drinking my chai tea,
hoping you'd mean a little less;

i spend my nights,
pouring my
- ̗̀ everything ̖́-
into my passion
of writing;
laughing to myself
as i read these cliché
romance and chick lit
novels,
making up these
- ̗̀ lovely and wondrous ̖́-
dreams of what
i wish to be,
wish to have.
making up these
dreams that
i will
make come alive.

i lay on my rooftop,
listening to soft indie music,
staring up at the
- ̗̀ sky full of stars ̖́-
and smile to myself.

i am taken away,
i am whisked away,
to another cosmos,
another galaxy
- if you will -
for i myself
am another
galaxy within.

i have
- ̗̀ fallen out of love ̖́-
with what we were,
with who i once was.

i have
- ̗̀ bloomed ̖́-
again,
into a
beautiful
version
of myself.

and
she is whole
- ̗̀ once again ̖́-

n° 153

the end.

«««§»»»

[ a | n ] thank you, to all of you who have followed me through this journey of confessions of a moonchild. i started this collection just about one year ago on tumblr under the name of bhlissfvlly but i stopped posting as time went on because of time.
only about a few months ago did i get the idea to turn it into an actual collection book on wattpad. thus, the dream was born. the poetry and prose written in here varied wholly and utterly - some were written when just an ounce of inspiration had hit, and others, well others came merely from heartbreak.
i can say from confession one thirty four to the end, was all purely me turning my pain into poetry. there was never anything more raw that i'd ever written than these few confessions. i'm beyond proud of them <3

if there's anything i'd like to explain, it's this last confession, one fifty three; i started this on the thirtieth of september with a rather blurry and hazy mind as i was crying about said heartbreak. but somehow, i never finished it and i guess it became a lost concept.
opening it again one month and ten days later from my heartbreak, i decided against completely starting it over and kept it. i wanted to show the contrast of my feelings within this time. opening it tonight, i decided to put that pause and fin before writing today's date and "starting anew." writing this has made be unbelievably happy and currently, i'm typing this and smiling like a fool.
a thing i've learned about love however - it doesn't matter how long or little you've loved someone. once you know in your heart that you love someone, that love with never leave. it doesn't matter how you love them, just understand that the love you have for that person will always be within you, even if it's in a different way. no matter what you tell yourself, you might love them so passionately one day, and the next you might just love them faintly for the lessons they've taught you.
i know i will always love my ex just for teaching me what real love is, what it should be. i might not love you the way i did when we were together in our own paradise, but i love you enough to always be here for you.

—thank you, from the bottom of my heart <3