Brains and Brawn (BxB)

Chapter 31

Matt's POV:

The moment my mom awakes I run outside to tell the nurses she's awake and only a few seconds pass before two nurses and a doctor come in to check on her and ask her a few questions, mostly about how she feels.

After the explanations of what to do for her and the necessary medicine to help with mostly the pain and healing, they leave us alone once again. 

I ask Mrs. Pemberton, who was here with me to take Chris outside while I talk to my mom.

I take a deep breath, as to be calm. I don't even know what to say, let alone where to start. There are so many things I want her to know, now that she's sober. How much she hurt me, how much I needed her after my dad died, how her absence affected Chris.

But maybe right now isn't the time to pour out all my feelings out there. I have to be responsible and do what's right.

After a few minutes of silence of her just looking at me, like she's seeing me for the first time, like I'm a whole different person. While I still deliber in what to say.

She opens her mouth to speak. What? I have no idea, but I'm not gonna let her talk yet. I have been listening for a year, now it's her turn to listen.

"What were you thinking?! Not only did you put your life in danger, with the possibility of leaving your children orphans, but you put other people's lives in anger! I mean, what were you thinking?! How could you be so irresponsible? Did you even think about Chris? I'm not even gonna talk about me, but I would expect you to consider that. So tell me! What the Hell were you thinking?! I mean, obviously you weren't, you were probably too damn drunk to even realise what you were doing!"

I let out a breath after that. It's not everything I want to say, not even close, but it'll have to do for now. 

"I'm sorry, honey. I'm so so sorry," she says, with tears coming down from my eyes. "You're right, I didn't think. I have been a terrible mother these past months and I am so sorry. I didn't know what to do so I resorted to alcohol, and I know that's not an excuse, but I want to get better, then I'll ask for your forgiveness."

Great, now I'm crying, too. For the first time, since my fathers passing, she looks like the mother she once was. The mother I lost. And I want her back so bad, that I consider forgiving her just then. I crave the comfort of my mother.

But I can't just forgive her. I need to make sure she gets better first and the help she needs, only then will I consider forgving her, if she proves herself to be worthy.

"Chris wants to talk to you, I'll bring him in. I need some air."

With that, I exit the room, ignoring her calls of my name. I can't talk to her right now, I just need to breathe.

I come face to face with everyone else that was waiting in the waiting room. Everyone looks at me differently, some with sadness, some with sympathy, but the one that speaks to me the most, is the amount of worry Leo is in, he looks at me as if he just wants to hug me and scare away all my problems.

"Chris, come on," I call out to my little brother. "Mom wants to see you."

I go with him inside, but leave him in the care of my mother. When I go outside, I ask Mrs. Pemberton if she can look after Chris for a while.

I make my way outside, well aware that Leo is following after me.

When I get outside, I go to a bench on the little graden next to the entrance and sit down. Leo sits down next to me.

He puts an arm around me and I lay my head on his shoulders, putting my arms around his torso. We get a few dirty looks from some of the people going in and out of the doors, but I just ignore them. Leo seems to do so, too, because he just kisses my forehead.