The More Than Love Contest [CLOSED]

Love Has No Labels Review by Crystal J Johnson

Love Has No Labels Review by CrystalJJohnson Another wonderful review. Thanks so much, Crystal!

Author: 

Cover/Aesthetics: 

5/5 - The cover to this book is beautiful--bright and the title is very clear. I love the face claim on the cover with her glowing smile and wistful look, it represents Angie well. 

Summary:

4/5 - The summary below the story excerpt clearly tells us who Angie and Austin are, where they are in their lives, and what they have to overcome to find their happily ever after. There are some grammatical errors in the story except, which I will touch on in the Grammar portion of the review. 

Grammar:

9/15 - For the most part, the grammar is clean. There are some miss-keys sprinkled throughout the story. The first I noticed is in the Prologue's first paragraph, where Angie is referred to as "his." The other major mistake is a change in tense from past to present tense. It mostly occurred within a sentence when is would be used instead of was. This is a super easy fix. I recommend a free program called Grammarly. You can download it for your phone or computer, and it will catch many of these mistakes as well as missing or doubled up words.

Plot:

11/15 - The overall plot was pretty well fleshed out. It is a simple love story with some realistic roadblocks that Angie and Austin are going to have to overcome together. Everything standing against them is pretty reasonable. There are a few holes which were obvious at the beginning of the story. The first being that it is stated in the prologue that Angie's dad was killed by a teenager and then it is said to be a drunk white man. Granted, the teenager could have been a white male, but it almost seems accidental in the way it is first presented. I would suggest stating from the start that it was a drunk driver who killed her father. The next is Austin's sprain wrist. As someone who suffers from sprains more often than I would like, I noticed the treatment for the injury was very excessive for a "moderate sprain." I would suggest changing this to a hairline fracture or a full-blown break since a sprain would not put him in a cast or have him out of work for weeks, but a broken bone in his profession would. The final issue is more of a sensitivity to mental health issues. It is said that Angie planned her suicide by drug overdose due to her betrayal by her best friend and boyfriend. It makes sense that she went into a deep depression because of this. I personally would have liked to see it addressed that this isn't something one overcomes on their own and that she had to seek help in this matter. I don't think this would have resonated with me the way it did if it were not for her specifically planning out how she was going to die. These are simple little things which I believe will improve the great premises of the story if adjusted.

Writing Style:

3/5 - Every action the characters make is very clear, and the dialogue between them is great. The one thing which was missing was the details of their surroundings. What were the sounds, smells, feelings and so forth. Remember to engage the five senses to pull the reader into the story. Again, since the story is taking place in the 80s, utilize those sights with the clothing and typical phrases. What does Angie's hair look like, is it natural and a bit wild or does she iron it and curl it under? You have an amazing time period at your disposal, make sure to use it to set your scenes and draw the readers into the environment. 

Swoon/Intimate Moments:

8/10 - That moment when Austin takes Angie to eat dinner, they dance to the Barry White song and then their quiet moment on the bus is really sweet. It does a great job of showing how comfortable these two are together and that their attraction is a companied by friendship. 

How engaging is the story?:

7/10 - The contemporary romance with the timeless trope of parents keeping lovers apart is one of my favorites. I'm cheering for Angie and Austin to make it through their obstacles. The only thing which was missing for me was the showing of the emotions through body language. Don't forget the rapidly beating heart, butterflies in the stomach, and lumps in the throat. Those reactions show the reader what Austin is doing to Angie on the inside, and it is much more powerful than telling them. I am longing to hear about how he twists her into knots.

Bonus: Supportive/ Self-love moments:

4/5 - Angie had a major "you go girl" moment when she runs into Jermaine. He had apologized for his wrongs against her, yet she held her ground knowing that it was unforgivable. I love that sorry was not enough for her. It came across that if she were to even consider forgiving him actions would be required, and that didn't mean she would be his girlfriend again. I love that she didn't roll over with a simple "I'm sorry."

Read Love Has No Labels Here:  https://www.wattpad.com/story/126964577-love-has-no-labels-bwwm-✔