The Budding Roses

Eddie

Sunday 5th  June

I've had an epiphany. A man called Eddie Kramer has invaded the epicentre of my subconscious, and it would not be an over-statement to say that I'm in love with him.

            With hindsight it's quite obvious that this was going to happen, since I've been talking about him so much lately. You remember Eddie; it's "Eddie", as in Eddie and Shauni from Baywatch, duh. I guess all the episodes I've been watching these past few weeks has caused a sort of subliminal message to be transmitted to my vomit parched brain, with the outcome being the most wonderful feeling I've ever known; a never ending supply of swirling raspberry ripple lollipops and chocolate fudge cake swamped in sticky toffee sauce. Delicious.

            Whilst I've been aware of his physical appearance and occupation as a part time life guarding assistant in Los Angeles County for a long time, I've never, until now, processed what a tanned, floppy haired, all round God like figure he is. Who knew that from all the suffering caused by the dysentery such a perfect moment could be born?

It happened like a dream, I mean I literally just dreamt about Eddie, and then I woke up, and now I can't get him out of my head, not that I want to. It was like "boom", and now he's totalling immersing my brain. What I need to do now is find a picture of him, to provide me with the proof; proof that he is in fact the most gorgeous human being that ever existed.

Later

After an hour of frustrated searching I have at last found it, the vision I saw in my dream; a swarthy Adonis wearing the coolest dark shades. Not only is he gorgeous, but he is stylish too.

            For the first time my life has a concision purpose, an objective to work towards, and from this day forth I have reason to rejoice every morning, to bounce from my bed, instead of groaning at the prospect of boring old school. It's strange, since I'm not entirely sure what the actual point of my adoration is, since I know that he's in love with Shauni and that he can't have two girlfriends, but still, all I know is that I've found Eddie, who by the way, is even more beautiful in the magazine cutting than I'd envisaged in my dream.

Monday 6th June

To prove my love for Eddie I now carry his picture with me at all times, firmly folded, close to my heart (where it belongs), in the breast pocket of my school shirt. Just knowing that his picture is there makes me feel close to him; it's reassuring to know that I can glance at him whenever I need cheering up, which is exactly what happened today during choir rehearsals. I was getting so exasperated, what with singing out of tune, and listening to Natasha, who kept forgetting the words, but as soon as I looked at the picture all of my anger evaporated, and it was all I could do to stop smiling.

Tuesday 7th  June

I've been living with this secret forever, and I'm bursting to share it with someone, to tell them how I've found the key that unlocks the secret of the Universe. Can other people tell of my discovery? Or maybe they have made it too? I can only guess that they haven't, because if they had then a stop would have been put to all the terrible things in the world, like war, for why would anyone ever be bothered to fight when they could be looking at Eddie instead?

Wednesday 8th June

I couldn't bear it any longer and so blurted to Natasha during lunch,

            'You know Eddie from Baywatch? Well I love him! Do you have any pictures of him that I can have?' I was mortified to hear that Natasha does not share my enthusiasm.

            'Why do you want to waste your time on some American life guard? You don't even live in America, so how are you ever going to get him to fall in love with you, when you're all the way over here in England? You need to focus on a more attainable target, like Take That, and that way there isn't just one boy to love, as there's Robbie and Mark to chose from, and they're both gorgeous.'

            I really don't know what she's talking about as it is not possible that Robbie Williams or Mark Owen are in any way nearly as handsome as Eddie. Maybe she's suffering from some sort of visual disorder that's causing her to see the world from the view point of a fly, dangling upside down from a piece of tape stuck to the ceiling? Plus Take That are from Manchester, whereas Eddie, now he's from Malibu, and I'm sure that anyone with half an ounce of sense would rather have a boyfriend from Malibu than Manchester? 

The good news is that Natasha does have a picture of Eddie that I don't and she's going to bring it to school for me tomorrow.

Authors note: Experiencing your first crush, even if it is a celebrity, has to be the best feeling in the world. Do you remember your first crush? It's even better if it's a real life person! Thanks for reading, love Ally xx