The Budding Roses

Take two

Monday 13th December
'I've dumped Matt!' Natasha wailed down the phone, her screech so loud that I had to pull the receiver away from my ear, but despite the distance I could still hear her sobbing, 'I don't know what to do anymore.'
'What do you mean? If you're so upset then why have you chucked him?'
'I just don't love him the way he loves me. He wants to spend every weekend together. Every weekend! He's smothering me. I really thought that I'd met the one, but it turns out that I'm more of a free spirit than I knew.'
'Well it's a shame you didn't realise that before we went on holiday, that way you could have had more fun.'
'Well yes, it would have meant that I would have been the one snogging AJ, because Swiss told me that he only went with you as I had a boyfriend. But anyway that was just a holiday, it's over and done with now, plus we're all going out tonight, so who knows what, or should I say "who" luck will bring me.'
'Tonight?'
'Yes, it's me, Fliss and Harry. We're all going to Brambles.'
'Oh.'
'Anyway, I just wanted to tell you my news, because I knew that you'd want to know. So I'll see you later.'

Later
All that nonsense I wrote about Liam and I being fated, what utter gash it was. Everyone knows that it's Harry Styles who I'm meant to be with. He's my real destiny, and I shouldn't have even questioned that it might be otherwise. I'm so certain of this, because if this wasn't the case, then explain to me this; why do we always seem to find ourselves alone together? Ha, answer that one!
Determined not to let Natasha banish me from this youthful night, I have made the courageous decision to attend Brambles alone, even if this means spending the evening loitering about in the gloom drenched corner, seemingly auditioning for a lead role in Single White Female.
On entering the club I recognised Natasha, sitting with Perfect Fliss, of course, smoking and clutching at a bottle of that vile blue liquid she always insists on drinking. Despite the awkwardness of my independence I resisted not heading straight over to them, since I'd spotted Liam, who was also alone, sitting in a booth and reading a magazine.

Now I know I might be the current poster girl for loners, but seriously, what sort of reject actually chooses to attend a nightclub, on their own, and then spends the evening reading? But even these most baffling of idiosyncrasies were preferable to Natasha and Perfect Fliss right now.
'Can I sit here?'
'Of course!' He smiled, thrilled to receive such an unexpected offering, 'and let me get you a drink. A Merlot, of course?'
Oh no, he's here. Of course he's here. And don't even bother pretending that he's not the reason I've risked damaging the sophistication and glamour attached to my good name, by coming here alone, but good golly he was grinning at me, and waving too. He was coming over. Shit - just what am I meant to say to the person who has broken my heart, and with whom I have for so long contemplated having this conversation?
'I think he's trying to get me drunk.'
'Well be careful, he might take advantage of you.'
'He's gone to get me a merlin. Apparently it's a red wine but it sounds more like an animal or something to me.'
'Weird.' Harry smiled, 'so I've been thinking, I wanted to say sorry for what you witnessed. It didn't mean anything you know. It was just me being a jerk.
'Oh Harry, I'm sorry too. I never meant to say that I didn't want to see you, of course I want to see you, all the time, every day. I just got freaked by you talking about your parents going away, about us doing it.'
'But I thought you wanted to?'
'I did, I do. I guess I was just scared and I didn't want to lose kissing you because I really love that?' We'd huddled in to the corner of the booth, Harry's hand holding on to mine, his other about my waist, our feet interlocked when I realised Liam's dejected image behind us, his limp hand dangling a glass of wine about to pour on to the floor.

Wednesday 15th December
So much do I regret just doing it with AJ, a boy I'd barely met, for whom I definitely have no sex worthy feelings and who I'll likely never see again in my entire life. Yet there I was just giving it away all over Lanzarote only for it to have been so boring and well, undefined? A dead duck floating head down in the water. Yet Harry's lips upon mine are the antithesis of undefined. Lovely silk and pressure and wirls but most of all heat, heat from his tongue against mine, heat from within as I grasp at him and tug at his hair. Of how I love his hair. Such wildly luscious swagger dog hair. How I ever considered it I'm not sure. If Natasha ever tells him about AJ I swear I'll knife her. And poor Liam, forever trying, but never able to achieve this, our crazy concoction of kinship and fire. It's like we know each other so well, but still every touch is exotic. I love you Harry Styles.