Chapter 1

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The late summer sun was at the top of the sky, and a faint golden light danced across my backyard

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The late summer sun was at the top of the sky, and a faint golden light danced across my backyard. I stared as beams of light eliminated every leaf of the great oak in my backyard, feeling at peace for a moment. Danny, my best (and arguably only) friend, had stopped by in the afternoon to try swim out all the nerves we had about junior year starting tomorrow. While Danny was nervous about balancing the growing academic pressure and impending college applications with his numerous extracurricular activities, I was feeling nervous about wasting another year. I'd spent much of last year feeling like a bit of an outsider, just watching everyone's lives play out in front of me without ever really living my own. Of course I also felt nervous at the prospect of seeing a Isaac again, but I tried to push that thought from my head. Either way, Danny was confident things would go just fine this year.

Still a bit new, my friendship with Danny has grown slowly over the years. It started with the close proximity when I moved to his neighborhood 5 years back, but then it blossomed from our mutual love of cheesy rom coms, literature and running. Last year Danny had begun to favor my company to that of his jackass of a best friend Jackson Whittemore. Though they both were stars on the lacrosse field together, Jackson had begun to become slightly unhinged halfway through our sophomore year. The final catalyst that pushed us from casual friends to nearly inseparable was when Jackson moved, quite suddenly, to London. Though part of me felt a bit like a replacement best friend, I didn't really mind. Danny had stood up for me on more than a few occasions, and he had assured me that with his help I'd no longer had to worry about my lackluster social life.

"You know, I'm actually really digging the hair," Danny says while floating on his back. I run a hand through my recently cut hair, feeling the blond strands tickle the top of my collarbone. I hadn't let Danny know just how big of a deal this haircut had been, or how I'd done it with the hopes that it might make me feel braver.

"Thanks, I'm still getting used to it." I respond from where I'm laying out on the side of the pool. While Danny was naturally tanned, I spent the summer trying to get as much color on my pale skin as possible.

"Think Isaac would like it as well?" Danny asks and I flip him off without even opening my eyes. He may joke, but we both remember what it had been like for me this summer. And all of it could have been avoided if I never spoke to Isaac that last day of school...

"I don't care what he thinks," I say, but I'm already running the memory back over in my head.

"Hey Eleanor, wait up for a sec!" I hear just as I am about to start my walk back home. I turn around to see Isaac Lahey running up to where I stand. To say I'm shocked would be an understatement. We haven't really spoken in years, and we haven't spoken at all since a particularly bad conversation outside of a nightclub a few weeks back. I'd actually been avoiding him all together. As he reaches me I try not to let the shock show on my face.

"I wanted to talk to you for a second, is that alright?" he asks and gives me the first genuine smile I have seen from him in years. I take in his lightly curled brown hair and his sky blue eyes, making sure it's actually him.

"I, uh, I guess so?" I say and he walks over to a nearby bench. I watch as students walk passed us without a second glance. Clearly they are not as surprised as I am, and they don't give us a second glance.

"Eleanor I wanted to apologize to you," he starts, eyes never leaving mine, "Something happened to me a few days ago. Sort of a near death experience and well, it got me thinking about what is important in my life. I got me thinking about how you were, well are, important in my life."

I just stare at him, unable to process that the words he is speaking are actually coming out of his mouth and not my imagination. Ever since his father's death Isaac had changed, there's just no other way to put it. We had stopped being friends long ago, but back then Isaac had just gotten more reserved and quiet. I had been worried back then, and rightfully so, but it was nothing like the feeling of worry that came from this new personality he sported. Since his father died Isaac had become cocky, arrogant and aggressive, both in and off the lacrosse field. But the boy sitting in front of me right now with the bright smile? It was as if no time had passed since we had been inseparable.

"I just have so much that I want to tell you, and that I want to explain to you about what has been happening with me. I just want you back in my life El. If you'll have me."

I didn't know what to say. My mind was reeling. I felt like I needed to pinch myself. I'd wanted to reach out to Isaac back when the news first hit that his dad was murdered, and even more so when I was told he had been abused for years, but then he told me to stay away from him so I had. Having him sitting here in front of me now, telling me that he wanted me back in his life, it just didn't feel real.

"Is this a joke?" I ask finally, and I watch his smile fade a bit.

"No, this isn't a joke. But if this was a mistake," He says, starting to stand up.

"No, isaac, it wasn't a mistake. I'm just confused." I say and he sits back down, smile wide again.

"There is something I have to go do tonight, but can I come by tonight to talk? We could maybe go for pizza like old times?" He asks and I can't help by smile back.

"Yeah I would love that," I say and he pulls me into a hug.

"I really missed you," He says while holding me close. I breath in his scent, still not quite certain that this isn't all a dream. After a moment he pulls away and stands to leave, telling me that I'll see him tonight. I sit at the bench for a moment on my own, unable to keep the smile from rising on my lips. There was so much that still needed to be said, but for the first time in a long time I felt hopeful that we could get back to where we had been.

But he never did come by that night, or any night after. He never called, never picked up when I did. I spent the first week or so confused and hurt. It felt almost as fresh as it had at 13, when he first told me to get out of his life. The news that Erica Reyes and Vernon Boyd had gone missing came out and I began to panic. If his friends were missing, then what if something happened to him? I went to Danny with those fears and he said that Isaac had gone to the last few lacrosse conditioning practices, and it wasn't likely he was missing. Part of me wanted to go a practice and call him out, but I didn't even know what I would say. So I didn't. I went on with my summer like that conversation had never happened, only letting Danny see just how deep the pain had cut.

"This year is going to be good El," Danny said, breaking me out of my thoughts, "I can feel it."

I wanted to say that I agreed with him, and that junior year was going to be a good one. But even as I laid by the pool with the warm sun radiating off my skin, I still felt an icy twinge deep in my gut.

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