Solving for Ex

Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-four

to feel affection without fear or restraint

 

I loved Kristin so much. She drove me home, saw that I’d been crying, and didn’t say a word. She carried my bag into the house for me, and when we walked into the foyer, cocked her head toward the kitchen and asked, “Ice cream?” I nodded and followed her. We spent the next hour at the kitchen island, me sobbing into a half-gallon of mint chocolate chip and her rubbing my arm and listening. I told her all about Mathletes, and Brendan, and Vincent, and Brendan and Sofia.

Turned out she always knew I was in love with Brendan. Probably, everyone did.

“The thing is, honey,” she said, squeezing my hand, “boys are stupid. Especially high school boys.”

“You mean, it doesn’t end in high school?” I said.

She laughed. “Afraid not. Have you ever seen Uncle Bruce take out the trash unless I look him in the eye and ask him to do it? Even if there are three bags waiting by the door?”

“I guess not,” I laughed.

“So, the boys are stupid, which means you have to tell them exactly what you want. Exactly what you feel. It doesn’t mean we love them any less, unfortunately.”

“No, it doesn’t,” I said, moving my spoon to dig into the ice cream again.

“What about Vincent?” she asked.

“He is…very cute. And he really likes me. Like, a lot.”

“I can tell. I think probably anyone could. Do you like him?”

I knew I should like him. I knew everything about him was right. And I knew that when I closed my eyes and imagined kissing someone, no matter how much I wanted it to be, it still wasn’t Vincent. It was Brendan. Even after our fight in the hallway, he was still the guy I’d fallen in love with last year. It didn’t make sense, but even I couldn’t rationalize my daydreams.

Then I looked out the kitchen window to see Brendan pull up in his driveway, walk around to the passenger side, and open the door. He took Sofia’s hand and helped her out, slinging his arm around her shoulders as hers snaked around his waist. They walked through the front door like that and I felt like crying and throwing up in equal parts.

 “I…I don’t know. You know what? I just don’t know. I think I need to get out of here for a little bit. Away from him.”

“Well, Thanksgiving is next week.” She shifted in her chair. “I know we’re supposed to host here, but I’m happy to drive up to Williamson for the week. Stay in a hotel, come in and help your mom with the cooking. She’s been missing you, I think. And since I’d be there, things wouldn’t be hectic for her. I could give her a call.”

I thought about that for a minute. Normally, going back to Williamson would fill me with dread. Thinking about running into Kaylie Mitchell, that bitch who initiated all the torture, at the grocery store, or even at the playground with the boys. At the worst of Project Bully Ashley, they were throwing eggs at my car as it passed, and knocking my grocery basket out of my hand. But it was Thanksgiving. And if I really wanted to, I could hole up in my room for the whole week. Read a book. Not talk to anyone. Not look at Brendan’s stupid smug house and watch him making out God knows where with my least favorite person in the universe. Not think about Mathletes. Get away from everything.

“Yeah, okay. I think that’d be good.”

“Okay. Want me to call her?”

Mom hadn’t done that much about the bullying, besides arrange for me to go to Aunt Kristin’s. I could tell it was just one more overwhelming thing on her already exhausted plate. Not that I blamed her, but we hadn’t been very close since then. I was in no emotional state to start calling her now.