Only One I Call Home

Chapter 22 - "The boy never cried again, and he never forgot what..."

“The boy never cried again, and he never forgot what he’d learned: that to love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be the one destroyed.”

-       Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

Chapter 22

“Okay class, we’re beginning our presentations whether you like it or not. I’ve written a random list as to who goes when and in what order, I don’t care about volunteers or any of that bullshit. So, up first is Troy.” Mr Murray stated the second we were all seated in Literature.

The day had come that we’d all have to present our poems. I’d written mine at three am this morning and I honestly didn’t care if it was horrible. The task we had was to write what we feel and that’s all I’d done. Whether it was good or terrible, I’d done it.

Three people had shared theirs before it was my turn. I got up confidently. This sort of stuff had never really bothered me but having to stand up and deliver it in front of Trey made me a little uneasy. I hated that he made me question everything about myself and I hated the way his eyes stared straight through me even though we were on opposite ends of the classroom.

I sucked in my breath and began. “’You always hurt the ones you love.’ As if that makes it okay to say the words you know they hate, leave for two hours in the heat of an argument, yell and scream and fight and argue.” I looked around the classroom for a moment before continuing. “You do not hurt the ones you love. It’s as simple as that. You do not leave when they need you most, you do not write, type, and speak, words, phrases, and sayings, sentences that will break them. You do not break the ones you love and if you do and you happen to feel no remorse because ‘you always hurt the ones you love’ well then you never loved them to begin with.”

Mr Murray turned to me and clapped a few times. “Wonderful, as always. Are there any questions?”

One of the girls put up her hand, Carrie. “You don’t have to answer this, but is this about your parents?”

I frowned and shook my head. “I never met them. You can’t love someone you’ve never met.”

“So it’s about a boy?” She questioned.

I shrugged, met Trey’s eyes. “You could say that. It’s not about anyone in particular. It is just my belief, you shouldn’t hurt the ones you love.”

Mr Murray nodded slowly. “Right, and class what feelings do you think Madison is trying to get across.”

There were the usual ones sadness, regret. But then Mr Murray called upon Trey. He looked up, met my eyes and sighed heavily.

“Um, what the rest of them said.” He said.

Mr Murray shook his head. “No, dig deeper.”

He squeezed his eyes shut and ran a hand through his hair before opening his beautiful mouth to speak in his beautiful British accent. “She’s bitter. Someone has broke her…broke her heart. And it’s going to take her some time to get back together. She’s bitter and despondent because of him.”

“Thank you, Trey.” Our teacher nodded. “That’s what I was after.” Mr Murray touched my back gently. “Return to your seat Mads.”

Karen smiled at me. “That was cute.”

I sighed. “What’s yours about?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t do it.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re absolutely terrible.”

She scoffed. “Please, I don’t need this class. It’s bullshit anyway.”

Okay Trey you’re up. Let’s hear it.” The teacher smiled hopefully at him but he didn’t notice because he was fiddling with the matted corner of his lined piece of paper.