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3/10: Raising Hell

Raising Hell by @whatislive

Armageddon will befall the earth when the antichrist is born, or it would if Lucifer could spawn a bouncing baby boy. Luckily for Evil incarnate, and unluckily for the rest of the world, the demon Diabolous has enough pattern recognition to notice what his boss will not. If he hasn't had a girl after seventy-six of them, seventy-seven isn't going to be any different. Enlisting the help of a local washed-up angel, Lezaziel, Diabolus gives Baby Girl Lucifer a chance to grow up and potentially become the harbinger of doom her father always wanted--So long as his angel doesn't muck it up with good intentions. Reviews are in, "I cried, I laughed, and cried again! Its like a buddy cop comedy, but with cannibalism & a whole lot of questionable ethics," said no one ever.

COVER: The cover could be so much better for this kind of novel, I think. It's apparent that you just posted it, so now is the perfect time to perfect the visual image that your novel sets forth to suck readers in. I would suggest going to the wattpadwriters.com site and requesting a cover in the graphic shop threads. There are a ton of designers on there that could help you out and would only ask credit, a follow, and maybe a few reads in return (payments vary by designer).

GRAMMAR: Nothing to mention, so I either didn't see them, didn't notice them, or they were nonexistent. More power to you.

CONTENT: For me, it didn't make very much sense. It seems that Diabolous is a baby-eating, devil-following paranormal being that had a soft spot for that baby because of her...sneeze? So because of her sneeze, he didn't kill her like he had the past nearly 80 babies before her. She amused him enough to avoid death. Lucifer (or someone who was meant to have a baby who would be Lucifer) wanted a baby boy, so he was sexing it up with many many women to try and get a boy, yet all he got were girls. I didn't understand it and I so wish that I had understood it. There were inconsistencies (is her name Roswell or Rosewall?) and it was all played out like it was meant to be a comedic take on the devil, sort of like that movie Little Evil by Netflix.

NOTES: I went into this review quickly because it's one chapter, so it's quick and easy -- although, in the form your blurb was definitely not twenty words or less, lole. Nobody listens to that part anyway, though.

OVERALL: I'm not a fan. I like what you're trying to do, but with just one chapter of context, I can't make much sense of it. My rating isn't based on the skill of the work, but of my overall opinion of these first 800 words and does not reflect the work as a whole. Also, I'm not a huge fan of super lighthearted works like these; I'm more into more serious and dramatic works, especially if it includes Lucifer.

RATING: 3/10

Thank you so much for requesting! I'm sorry I couldn't offer more constructive criticism.