Promise Me (Book One of the Kirkland Family)

Promise Me: Chapter 38

Chapter 38

“You’re early,” Hannah said, opening the door to Justin and Josie.  “I just got out of the shower.”

“There’s been a change of plans,” Justin announced, brushing past her but pausing long enough to kiss her cheek.  

“A change?” she asked, scanning his face.  He looked...tense.  “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he said quickly, and Josie piped up with, “I’m going skating with Jordan and she’s spending the night with me!  Grandma said we can sleep in the basement and sing karaoke all night, and it won’t bother anyone...as long as we keep the volume down.”

Hannah glanced at Justin again.  He said that morning he felt guilty about leaving Josie alone again after spending two days in Memphis.  Apparently, Josie didn’t seem to mind.  But what about Daddy?  He was unhappy about something.

Josie added, “We have to pick her up at seven, so hurry up and get dressed!”

Hannah gave her a smile.  “Okay, okay...give me a few minutes.”

Josie trotted off to the kitchen to rummage through the refrigerator, and Justin followed Hannah up the stairs.  “You’re quieter than usual tonight,” she said over her shoulder.

“It’s been a long day,” he commented vaguely.

“Yeah, for me, too,” she said and entered her bedroom, pulling him with her.  “I’ve got some news that I’m dying to share, but you can’t tell anyone yet.”

“Is this the same news that Josie’s been hopping around on all afternoon, but refuses to tell?”

“Yes,” Hannah grinned.  “But you have to promise not to say anything to anyone yet...especially not Mark.”

A flicker of anger entered his green eyes.  “I have no plans to speak to Mark anytime soon, I promise.”

Hannah gazed warily at him, hearing the underlying tension in his voice.  “Uh, oh...what happened between you and Mark?  Did he give you a hard time about this morning?  He can be a little over-protective, but he means well.  Sometimes, I think he forgets I’m just as old as his own kids.”

Justin’s face blanched, and then smoothed out again.  “What’s your news?” he asked.

The excitement of Kim’s pregnancy hit her again, and she nearly squealed like Josie when she said, “Kim’s having a baby!  Isn’t that wonderful?”

Justin stared stoically at her for a solid minute.

“Well?  Haven’t you anything to say?” she asked.

“The man gets around, doesn’t he?” he mused darkly.

Hannah’s brow wrinkled at his unusual behavior.  “Who, Mark?  No, he doesn’t!  He dated a little after his wife died, but Kim’s the first woman he’s really been with since then.  I think he might actually love her.”

He didn’t make another comment on the subject, so Hannah grabbed her clothes and got dressed.  When she finished, he pulled her against his chest and said, “Spend the weekend with me at the farm.  Or let’s get out of town for three days.  You and me and Josie, and maybe my parents.  We can rent a cabin somewhere, or an RV and go camping.”

Hannah frowned.  “We just got back from Memphis.”

“I know,” he said, an unsteady, frenzied tone to his voice.  “I want to be with you, stay with you.  At least, come out to the farm and stay there with me.”

There was something seriously troubling him.  Hannah could see in his eyes that he wasn’t saying these things because he was committing himself in any way.  There was something else going on.  Something that had him frantic to keep her by his side.  And she didn’t like it.  She didn’t want him to want her for any other reason than because he wanted her.  It was almost like he was trying to protect her, or keep her away, and she could only guess that it had something to do with her mother.  He’d never made it a secret that he didn’t want Lawna to see her, but this burning, feverish proposal only made her back away from him.

“I’ve been gone too much already,” she said.  “And I don’t think we should ask your parents and your daughter -- not to mention that she’s having a friend sleep over -- to compromise their morals by asking me to stay with you under their roof for a whole weekend.  They’ve been supportive thus far, and I don’t want to abuse their friendship that way.”

“They’ll be fine with it,” he argued, but Hannah shook her head with the strength of her decision.

“I’m sorry, Justin, but I can’t.  I’m staying home this weekend.  I have things I want to do, to work on.”

He stood there, breathing erratically, but finally, he nodded.  

Josie was prancing around in the living room with her iPod ear plugs planted firmly in her skull when they emerged from upstairs.  They headed out, picked up Jordan, dropped the girls off at the skating rink, and drove to a nearby restaurant.  But by the time Hannah dug into her meal of medium-well steak and baked potato, she had lost any pleasure she felt that day.  

From the beginning of the evening, she noticed something off about Justin.  Maybe he was thinking this date was a bad idea.  Maybe he was starting to second-guess their whole relationship.  Or maybe, there was something else bothering him, but he wasn’t saying what.  He wasn’t speaking at all.

Hannah took a sip of her beer to wet her parched mouth as she gazed at him picking through his dinner.  Something was definitely wrong.  It seemed to be a plague today, despite all the joy over Kim’s baby.  Mark had acted upset all day at work, and Hannah knew it didn’t have anything to do with Kim.  Kim said she would tell him that night, so Hannah kept her cell phone handy, waiting on edge for a text telling her how the news had been taken.  But between Justin and Mark and the waiting, it was all starting to wear on Hannah.  Her good mood vanished quicker than the butter on her potato.  

She couldn’t stand the silence any longer, so she said, “What’s got your hamster running so hard tonight?”

Justin looked up from cutting his steak, only one of the few times he met her eyes in the last hour, and grinned, though it looked forced.  “I’m enjoying the view.”

Hannah kept her snort of disbelief to herself.  What view?  He’d barely looked at her all night.  He vaguely noticed the orchid summer blouse that draped across only one shoulder or that she purposely twisted her hair at the nape of her neck just so he’d thrust his fingers into it later and untangle the knot.  Oh, he said she looked great, and he’d commented on her perfume when he snuck a kiss on her shoulder outside of the restaurant, but otherwise, she might as well have been invisible.

Hannah let her fork and knife fall to her plate, which she hastily pushed away, and leaned across the table at him.  “You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think this was one of those awkward first dates.”

He glanced at her, frowning just enough to turn the corners of his mouth down.  “Is it awkward?  I thought we were having a good time.”

“Then look at me,” she demanded.

“I am looking at you,” he said, then his eyes slid away briefly, but came back to her as quickly.

“Justin...what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he claimed, clearing the tiny squeak from his voice with a drink of his tea.  “I’m sorry you’re not enjoying yourself.  I told you I’m not good at this stuff.  I’ve never dated much.”

Hannah stared at him.  “Justin, our first date was better than this one.  It was romantic--”

“We argued through half of it,” he reminded her.

“Yes, but whatever is bothering you isn’t that argument.  There has to be something else.”

He glanced away for a second, hedging, and she reached over, touching his jaw and moving his face back to regard her.  She said, “I’m not going to give up until you tell me what going on.”

A real smile cracked his stoic facade.  “You’re starting to sound like Josie now.”

Her fingers caressed him for a moment longer, but he didn’t move to encourage that, so she sighed and withdrew her hand.  Moving her plate back in front of her and slicing through her potato, she said, “I’m usually really good at fixing problems, so I wish you’d let me help you.”

He softly replied, “I don’t think you can fix this one, Hannah.”

She playfully jabbed her fork at him, bits of potato and sour cream flying across the table.  “Ha!  So there is something bothering you!”

His lips twitched.  “You should know me better than that, Hannah.  There’s always something bothering me.”

“Then why don’t you tell me what it is today,” she pushed.  

“I wish I could,” he said, continuing to stare at her as she stuffed food in her mouth and chewed.  Her cheeks bulged, and he smiled again.  “I love to watch you eat,” he stated in that turned-on tone of his.  “The way your mouth wraps around your fork, how your tongue licks the sour cream off your lip...”

Hannah stopped chewing and hastily gulped her mouthful as his voice inspired a different kind of hunger.  She suspected he was changing the subject, but she figured, What the hell?  Go along with it.

“And I especially like to watch your throat when you swallow,” he whispered, angling his head and shoulders over the table to make sure no one heard him.  But they sat in a booth at the back of the restaurant, and Hannah was glad for that small token of luck.  His eyes took on a determined glow, and now, she knew he was trying to distract her from their original conversation, but as her body warmed and her cheeks flushed and her belly quivered with anticipation, she only vaguely wondered why he would do that.  Smiling mischievously at him, she leaned back in her seat.  Two could play this game.

Quietly and carefully, she slipped her foot out of her sandal and ran her toes up the inside of his ankle under the table.  He jerked instantly, braced his arms on the wood top and asked, “Songbird...what are you doing?”

Her foot moved up past his calf, past his bent knee and slowly lined out a path up his thigh.  “Whatever do you mean, Jack?” she asked sweetly.

His breath hitched as she reached an intersection on her journey.  He opened his mouth, but the waitress chose that moment to appear.  Hannah’s toes found a flagpole to climb, and up they went.  Justin scooted forward on his bench, moving his torso closer to the edge of the table to hide her foot, and his palms flattened out beside his plate while their waitress asked, “Do you guys need anything else right now?”

“No,” Justin croaked, and Hannah smiled, and he grunted the frog out of his throat and added, “Thank you, no...we’re good for now.”

As the girl left, Hannah said, “You could have asked for the check.”

He shook his head as her foot shimmied down, and he groaned, “I’m...not quite...ummm, ready to...go...yet...oh, you minx...do that again.”

Giggling under her breath, she complied, teasing him with the touch of her toes through the seam of his dress pants, all the while, finishing her meal.  He watched her eat through half-closed eyes, and he breathed out through his mouth, though his nostrils flared, but his plate remained untouched.  When the last bite of her food went into her mouth, he raised his arm and waved at their waitress.  “Check, please.”

They managed to get to his truck well enough, although Hannah had to walk directly in front of him to help hide his erection, but as soon as the doors slammed shut and the dome light inside the truck cab winked out, he seized her face between his hands and shamelessly pounced into a kiss of monumental intensity.

“You are an amazing woman, Hannah,” he whispered against her lips and he nibbled and licked his way down her throat.  

"Thank you," she said breathlessly.  "Maybe...maybe we should...oh!"  His deft fingers slipped the one, lone strap off her shoulder, and separated fabric from skin and...  "Is this payback for under the table?"

His mouth found hers again, and after another thorough kiss, and a gentle cupping of her breast, he said, "What do you think?"

"I think we should hurry back to my house.  We have time before you have to get Josie and Jordan."

Their eyes collided for a moment, and then slowly and carefully, he inched away, leaning back in the driver’s seat and placing his hands on the steering wheel.  "Yeah...about that..."

Hannah's body cooled in an instant, hearing those words, that apologetic tone.  She fixed her shirt and cocked an eyebrow.  

"I, uh, don’t think that, um...we should...not tonight."

Hannah blinked, dumbfounded at his nervous stammering, completely baffled at this man who rarely passed up a chance to be with her.  “Really?”

He nodded and turned his head to look ruefully at her.  “Since we don’t get a whole lot of time tonight, I think we should just stick to a regular date...dinner and a few kisses and...you’re upset, aren’t you?  You’re looking at me funny.”

Quickly, she shook her head.  “No, no, I’m not upset at all.  I think you’re being very cute right now...cute and sweet.”

“Sweet,” he echoed with a snort and cranked the engine.  “If you knew what I was thinking right now, ‘sweet’ isn’t part of it.”

Once they got to her house, Justin skirted around to her back door instead of the front, sighing loudly and saying, “Are you ever going to get that front porch fixed?  A guy feels weird walking his date to the back.”

“Yes, I’ll get it fixed.  I’ll have to, soon, I suppose.”  

He frowned, hearing more to her words than she hoped was there.  “Why ‘soon’?  Is there something wrong?”

“No, no,” she said, digging her keys out of her purse.  “There’s nothing wrong, but I’ve been thinking that with the interest rates as low as they are now, I can borrow against the house to get it all fixed -- the roof, the porch, the windows and paint the siding.”

Justin whistled low.  “That’s a lot...how will it affect your mortgage?”

Hannah unlocked the back door and reached in to flip on the porch light.  “There’s no mortgage.  Daddy paid it off about eight years ago, so all I have are the escrow payments for the insurance and taxes.”  She turned to him and smiled, hoping they could change this subject before she told him everything going through her mind lately.  Everything about him and her plans for being with him, but since she hadn’t straightened all that out in her own mind, it was best to keep quiet for now.

His eyes focused on the door trim, and the peel of white paint coming off, and Hannah bit down on her lip, because, yes, the house needed a lot of work, and it shamed her to know she let the outside get as bad as it was, but it was her home.  Originally, she planned to sell her house and go with him to Savannah, but things have changed in the last few days.  Kim was pregnant, and Hannah wasn’t going to leave her friend to deal with that alone...especially if Mark bailed on her.  But in case everything worked out between Mark and Kim, she wanted to be ready, and if she had to give up her home for this man, it would almost be akin to ripping off her own skin, but she would do it.  She loved him.  And if she couldn’t think of any other way of being with him for the rest of her life, then the house would have to go...eventually.

Hannah knew that if she gave Justin the choice again, he’d still go back to Savannah.  He wasn’t the kind of man who abandoned his responsibilities.  He was proud, and he’d been hurt too many times in the past to forsake all he worked for, not for a woman -- and that hurt.  Hannah wanted to be the woman he’d drop everything for, but something like that would take time...lots of time, and although she was prepared, ready, to love him for all its worth until he came around, she no longer had that kind of luxury.