Down Chick

Chapter Twenty-Five: Misconceptions and Fatality (Part III)

Angel:

I wasn’t sure of anything going around me at that time period. My gaze was blurry.  I found myself feeling almost indifferent and numb. Sitting there as I had been for the past two hours was overwhelming, especially not having any news on Keish’s condition.  My fingers felt sore and my knuckles were white from clenching the arm of the chair so tightly. Sweat covered my skin in a thin sheen of crystalline moisture that clung to the soft, vibrant texture of the plain white cotton t-shirt that I wore. I wasn’t sure how I’d come to be this terrible wreckage of nerves and tension. It probably had something to do with the fact that I knew that Keish’s presence in the hospital was partially my fault. If I had never been selfish and brought her into the dark, weary cold world of mine, then it’d never have happened.

“Angel,” I heard indistinctly in the background. It was like a small echo in my ear frame. “Angel, man! Snap out of it!”

“What?” I asked exasperated. “Unless, the doctors have something to report to me about her condition, or you have some new information on the whereabouts of Darius, then I’m really not interested in talking, Diablo.”

Diablo sighed wearily. “Man, you’ve got to get your head out of your ass and into gear. Keish is in good hands here at the hospital. You’ve got a whole army of people to look after her, while we go take care of business. It’s some serious shit going down at one of the warehouses right now. Jafari and Mar-Mar came with some other fiends and took about a hundred grand in kilos from you. Pierre, Quinn and a few others managed to corner one of them. We need to be heading out to track these young fools down and set an example of them.”

His words were like a slap to my face. I had enough shit going on without those two fucking idiots starting shit. I could feel facial expression changing, as I listened to Diablo. My nose scrunched and my lips twisted into a leer of anger.

“I don’t have time for this right now,” I responded. “I’m already knee deep in my guilt. I’ve got blood on my hands. It’s thick, bitter, and tainting my soul. My woman and my child could be dead for all I know. Dead! She is in that ICU suffering and hiding her pregnancy, and a lot of other important issues from people she’s trusted her whole life because of me.”

I stopped and took a deep breath for a moment.

“You know I’ve never seen in shades of grey before. Everything has always been black and white in this world for me. There’s never been an in-between, but I saw her and I knew. I saw her walking down the street with her beautiful caramel skin, glistening and echoing the earth’s natural hues and tones of bronze. The slight nervous tension in her shoulders and the innocent sashay of her hips in those tight short blue denim shorts, as she walked past had me enraptured. Later, when I approached her and got a whiff of her divine scent, I knew she was the one. Her scent reminded me so much of those flower shops that I used to visit with my mom, the lavender and roses in the store always reminded of how safe and comfortable my life was. Seeing her reminded me that I deserve the chance to have happiness. I deserve to have at least one thing in my life that I can keep and be selfish about. Don’t I?”

“She’s pregnant?” Diablo asked in disbelief.

I nodded my head in confirmation. “No one other than me, you, and Rome knows that. She’s been keeping silent because it’s too dangerous to tell anyone. Something as simple as the joy of a child is tainted because of this drug world.”

I sighed deeply wondering what my life would have been like if I’d grown up like a normal little boy with parents who were actually present and capable of supporting me. I’d probably never have been a part of this. Yet, I knew that there wasn’t any point in relying on or thinking about what ifs. Keish was here and the only chance that she had at protection was if I got my ass into gear and tracked down Darius.