And if I only could, make a deal with God, and get him to swap our places

I'll be here waiting

"Did she run away? Did she run away? I don't know
If she ran away, If she ran away, come back home
Just come home"

CeyCey had everyone gathered in her backyard, sharing any details they knew about what her plans were yesterday. They had tried calling her, for hours, but her phone was shut off or dead. He let her friends head the search efforts so he didn’t seem too overbearing. In reality he was having a small nervous breakdown and couldn’t focus well enough to organize anything. Deren was jotting down notes as people took turns giving information. She read everything aloud after everyone had given their account, so they were all on the same page.

Last seen at home around 10 am yesterday.

No know appointments or meetings.

Prone to panic attacks. Delusions and fits of rage come on if she is severely pressed or if she hasn’t had her medicine.

Not as of yet located at any local hospitals or police stations.

Had not been acting out of the ordinary, according to those that see her most often.

CeyCey broke everyone into teams to go out to search for her: Leyla and Emre would check the mahalle and drive around the city to her common haunts. Merhiban and Deniz would check in with her therapist and continue calling hospitals. Deren would keep watch at her house and be the touchstone for any new intel. CeyCey and Muzo would check the bazaar and comb the wooded area near the manor.

It didn’t escape his notice that he wasn’t given an assignment.

He was standing a fair distance from the group, just listening and pacing. Every time he heard a new detail about her life that he wasn’t privy to he ran his hands through his hair and sighed heavily. To be fair, he wasn’t really in a state to help. He caught a few glances from the group. They pitied him.

Just before they split up to fulfill their assignments he looked around at everyone. It felt like someone was missing. They had collectively decided not to tell the Aydin or Divit parents, preferring to tell them the bad news only when they had brought her back safely. They would have had their hands full just trying to calm the older generation, this gave them a better chance to find her without incident. No, all the family members and close friends that he knew of were present.

Except for Yigit.

Alarm bells went off in his head.

Part of him wanted to think that he wasn’t that close to her, he was just her boss, and that’s why no one thought to contact him. But then he remembered the conversation he overheard a few nights ago. They had helped heal each other. Yigit was here for her when he wasn’t. The thought of that man, that liar, spending more time with her than he ever had boiled his blood.

When he told her that the old Can was dead, that ruthless jealous man, he meant it. After hearing how close the two had become he went back to his boat, and calmed himself down. He refused to do anything that would lower him even further in her estimation. He knew he was a horrible person, a violent man, but now he knew how to control it.

He was losing control.

Different scenarios flashed in his mind like slides on a projector.

She couldn’t stand to be near you so she ran away with him.

He took her away to Spain or Greece or New York.

She got lost and panicked, she called him for help.

He is somewhere with her and won’t let her leave or call her friends.

That last thought made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. The slide was stuck, he couldn’t think of anything else.

If Yigit could burn the notebook he wanted to publish, and then frame him for it, what else could he do? Could he have planned it out, so he would be able to swoop in and be her hero? Or a martyr? What else had he lied about?

He was the kind of person that had always relied on gut instinct. He wasn’t about to ignore it now.

While the group split up and went on their way, he sent an urgent email to the private investigator, then scrolled his contacts to make a phone call.

His thumb hovered over the name, and then over the call button.

He listened to the ringing on the other end.

“Hello? Can?”