And if I only could, make a deal with God, and get him to swap our places

I used to call you my own, my dear But now you're lost

“So if I only could
I'd make a deal with God
And I'd get him to swap our places
I'd be running up that road
Be running up that hill
With no problems”

He called the last person on Earth he ever thought he would speak to again. But Polen was Yigit’s sister, and if anyone knew him it was her. It took a few minutes for him to calm down, and for her to act civilly enough, to actually communicate the problem and brainstorm some ideas of where he could be. She asked if he just tried calling, which pissed him off because of course he tried that, but his phone was shut off. But she did say that she texted him just yesterday about a family event and he answered, so he was definitely alive and texting around the time she went missing.

They weren’t the closest of siblings, both of them spending much of their time abroad, but they did spend their childhood together, unlike him and Emre. She mentioned a few different places near Istanbul that she knew about, but there was one that stood out in his mind. She said that he spent time at their grandfather’s cabin in the woods every summer. She had only been there a handful of times, it being a little too rustic for her taste even as a girl, but she still knew right where it was. He remembered overhearing something about a camp for her to concentrate on her writing, way back when a few days before the worst day of his life. More recently he overheard Yigit talking to her about a sequel to her novel, so it was logical that he would take her to his camp to work on that.

He was working on pure conjecture and gut instinct, but it had never lead him wrong before when it came to her . He asked Polen to send him the address, even though she wasn’t sure her family still owned it, or if it would still be standing when he got there. It was a shot and he was going to take it. He thanked her with sincerity and hung up. He had no time to lose.

The first problem he faced was transportation. Not only were most of his acquaintances out looking for her, but of them only one had a car. He thought about just going to a dealership and buying one on the spot, but that would be costly in time and money. He could of course take a cab, but most cabs didn’t travel that far out of town. Plus he wasn’t sure what he would find there, if anything, and didn’t really want another person witness to his anxiety.     

There really was only one thing to do.

“Emre?”

“Efendim? Can we are still in the mahalle looking-”

“I need you to drive back here right now. I need your car.”

“What?”

“Just do it, please.”

“Did you find something?”

“I don’t know yet. I need to get there first.”

“Tamam. I’m going to leave Leyla here to keep looking. I’ll be there as quick as I can.”

Emre was the one to hang up on him. Something in his voice must have made him understand the seriousness of the matter.

He was parked a few feet away from their father’s house less than fifteen minutes later, which meant he definitely broke some traffic laws, but he was eternally grateful. He ran out to meet him and his brother tossed him the keys while getting out of the driver’s side.

“I owe you one, Abi.”

“Nope. Just get my sister-in-law back in one piece, okay?”

He smiled grimly at his brother and nodded before hopping in the car and speeding out of their quiet little neighborhood. Emre wasn’t the only one breaking speed limits today.

Most of the way there he tried to convince himself that he wouldn’t find anything, and if he did she would be there, just trying to write, maybe a little irritated at him for being disturbed. He had to focus on the most benign scenarios, because if he thought of the worst case scenarios, he might go all the way out of his mind with worry. The closer he got, the more niggling thoughts slipped through the cracks.

He has her there against her will.

He has her there willingly and they aren’t just there to write.

She is hurt, and can’t reach her phone.

She’s already dead and buried out in the woods.

He set a trap for you. He’s there alone and she is hidden somewhere else.

They aren’t there. They’re already in Greece enjoying the sunshine and each other.

It was late afternoon when he first caught a glimpse of the dilapidated old cabin. It took him an inordinate amount of time to maneuver the dirt roads in Emre’s sports car, but he hoped it would be worth the effort. He didn’t see any signs of life, no cars parked out front, no windows or doors open. He parked the car and got out. It was quiet, peaceful. He understood why someone would want to come here to write.

First he knocked on the door, but when there was no answer he tried the handle, but it was locked. He peered in the nearest window. There wasn’t much inside, but what was there seemed to be in order. Maybe they hadn’t come here? He decided to look around the outside to gather any clues.

He walked around the building, looking in all the windows, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Some of the windows at the back were boarded up, but that was to be expected with a place this old. He did find it curious that the nails that were hammered into the old wood looked to be new. He walked back to where he parked the car to get a perspective on the whole cabin. What he found instead were tire marks, not his own, that seemed to be relatively recent. The recent tire marks and new nails would make sense if someone came to clean it up or make repairs. But something about the whole thing made him feel uneasy.

He closed his eyes and thought of her. He tried to connect to her telepathically, even though he never believed in that sort of thing before. It wasn’t the first time she was lost or injured. He’d found her before. He’d carried her to safely before. He needed to do it again. When telepathy didn’t work he tried logic instead. He’d also kicked in the door of a cabin before, and no harm came of it. He could certainly do it again. And he didn’t come all this way to give up now.

He opened his eyes and strode to the door with purpose.

End note:
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