And if I only could, make a deal with God, and get him to swap our places

Oooh, does she know that we bleed the same?

“When darkness comes upon you
And colors you with fear and shame
Be still and know that I'm with you
And I will say your name”

The door was harder to kick in than anticipated. Whoever built this place had made the door out of a thick piece of oak. Hardened and weathered over time, it took him four tries to get the latch broken. Already a little out of breath, he took a moment to look around and gather himself.

The room didn’t seem much different than it had through the window, nothing out of place. There were only two doors that he could see that would lead to other rooms. One of the doors was open, and he could see from where he stood that it was a bathroom. The other door at the back of the small cabin, was shut. He found it odd that an inner door would be closed, especially if the front door was locked. When he saw what looked to be a trail of blood leading under said door, he knew his instincts were correct.

He didn’t take a second to pause and inspect, to determine what kind of scuffle ensued, he just knew that she could be here and she could be hurt. He slammed his shoulder into the door while twisting the knob. It was locked. He knew something was terribly wrong. Panic rose in his throat, nearly cutting off his air. He stepped back and kicked the door, adrenaline aiding him in splintering the wood near the handle.

He shoved through, using his shoulder again, ending up half way into the small room due to excessive force. He was not prepared for what he found.

She would have looked dead, if not for her slightly furrowed brow. Her skin was pale, her under eyes dark but puffy at the same time. Her long wavy hair flowed out in tendrils around her like dark rivers, some spread across the cushion she rested on, some across her neck, and some spilling out onto the floor. The image of her made breathing difficult, his vision blue around the edges.

You can’t do this now. She needs you.

He forced air into his lungs and dropped to his knees. Now that he was closer he could see her chest rise and fall with steady but shallow breaths. She seemed unaware of his presence though, which concerned him. He took one second to inspect her visually, so as not to disturb or frighten her, When he saw blood matted in her hair, all thoughts of propriety left his mind.

He immediately scooped her up, an arm under her knees and one around her back. She felt limp in his arms, but at the same time overly light, like a sleeping child. The only part of her that he had touched in over a year was her wrist, that was till now. But he thought she felt smaller and more frail than she ever had before. He couldn’t help the tears from forming in his eyes. One escaped as he carried her over the threshold of the bedroom, running down his cheek and dripping onto her chest. It was then that he noticed her necklace was missing, the one she always wore. He wondered if she left it behind somewhere in the cabin, but knew it wasn’t more important than her life.

He was grateful that the front door was already open for him to easily carry her through, but the car door was going to be a different story. He cursed Emre’s choice of sports car, but managed to open the passenger door without dropping her. He gently lowered the seat back so she could rest reclined. He buckled her in, he was not about to risk further injury, then ran around to the driver’s side.

His heart jumped with every single lump and bump in the road, the whole way back to the city. She still wasn’t responsive, her head lolling about every time he turned. But he continued checking her, making sure she was still breathing, that nothing was getting worse. Not that he had any idea what was wrong with her or how it happened. He was angry at himself for that too, even though he had no idea the terror that would befall her. He still felt it was his duty to protect her, even after all this time, even though she didn’t want it.

His axiety spiked as they approached the emergency room entrance of the hospital. She needed to be seen by a doctor, but he was utterly terrified of finding out what had happened to her.

She is alive.

She is safe.

She is here with you.

He made it a mantra. The only thing that kept him from spiralling downward as the hospital staff helped him lay her down on a gurney and wheeled her away. He probably looked a little crazed, with his unkempt hair and beard, carrying an unconscious girl in through the sliding glass doors. He was surprised when they let him follow her all the way to the exam room, only kicking him out so the doctor could examine her. A nurse had to gently push him away from the door so that he would sit down and not look in through the small window. They had started cutting off her beautiful red dress, the fabric tearing as easily as his heart.

He sat in a chair outside her room for a few minutes willing his hands to stop shaking. A staff member had asked him to move Emre’s car out of the fire lane, he really didn’t want to get a ticket, but he needed to get his shit together first. Finding a parking spot was a sufficient enough distraction, until he walked back into the lobby and saw her parents and Leyla and Emre sitting in the waiting area.

He wanted to fall apart, for someone to comfort him, to have someone to cry with, pray with. But he knew he wouldn’t find that with her family. And they were right, he was just lucky enough to find her. He saved her this time, but they had saved her so many more times when he wasn’t here. He sat down at the end of the bench next to his brother and rested his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands.

Emre nudged him and asked for his keys back, trying to lighten the mood. It fell flat, and he dropped the keys in his open palm with a clunk. They waited for what seemed like days, but was really only and hour or so. Nihat held a crying Mevkibe, Emre held Leyla’s hand, and he sat alone, his other half shut away in a hospital room.

When the doctor came out, her parents were the first to stand to meet him. He hung back, but stayed close enough to the group to listen carefully.

“You all are Sanem’s family I presume?”

Everyone nodded but him.

“I’ll get straight to it then. Her prognosis is good, but she did sustain a severe head injury. Now, we aren’t sure when or how this happened, but we estimate it was sometime yesterday by the amount of bleeding and swelling that occured. It looks like it was some type of blunt force trauma, it could have been accidental or criminal in nature. We are working with the police who are gathering evidence about her disappearance.”

“She is sleeping now, we gave her some medicine to reduce the swelling in her brain and take away her pain. You can go in to visit her in a moment, but I would suggest only one person in the room at a time. I do want to say, whoever found her and brought her in did so just in time. She most likely won’t have any permanent damage from this as it was just a concusion and laceration of the scalp, but if she hadn’t been treated when she was, she could have died.”

Everyone gasped at that bit of information, her mother breaking into full blown hysterics. Nihat just stood there with tears dripping off his chin while Leyla tried to calm her mother. The Divit brothers stood stock still, unsure of what to do, how to process it all. He was not taking it well. It was good news really, but his brain just zeroed in on words like blunt force trauma, criminal, and could have died .

He quickly sat down before he fell down. The mental toughness he built up during his year entirely alone, the strength of will that he installed after reading her book and deciding to stay, it all crumbled down for a moment. He was nothing without her. Everything he did, he did for her. Leave, come back to stay, search for her, save her. It all would mean nothing if he had lost her. He took the moment to grieve, for what could have happened, for what did happen, and for what might happen. Then he stood up and followed the doctor to her room.

END NOTE:
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