Embracing Rain

1 - Chance

1 - C H A N C E

I storm down the street, trying to ignore the heavy rain as it beats against my face and drips down my hair and onto my shirt. I don't know the name of the street that I'm on, nor do I care. Heck, I can't even remember what town I'm in. If I were a little more rational now, I'd probably want to know. But as it turns out, right now, I couldn't care less about knowing where I am. I don't care about much of anything right now, to be honest. Sure, being caught outside in the middle of a rainstorm is a little annoying, and I'll definitely be upset about my soaked clothes later, but I appreciate the numbness soaking into my bones. The numb feeling spreads to my emotions, too. It helps me forget.

I know I'm overreacting, that I shouldn't have stormed out on my parents after the argument we had earlier, but I don't have the self-control to calm myself down. Or the desire to do so. Instead, I quicken my pace and glare at the ground. Not that it's offended me in any particular way, but I just feel like being angry right now, and glaring seems like an innocent way to do it.

I'm not an adult anyway. Teenagers are allowed to do this kind of stuff. At least, that's what I'll tell myself so that I stop feeling guilty about lashing out at my parents. It's not like they aren't trying. But when I'm tired, I forget they're making an effort. I forget that they're not making me miserable just for the sake of it. And they're easy to blame.

Something slams into my shoulder, sending my unwrapped chocolate bar flying out of my hands and into a puddle. I look up, my face contorting into a scowl. Though it's someone I've crashed into, not something, it seems, as I make eye contact with an equally soaked and very apologetic-looking boy.

"I'm so sorry," he says, gesturing nonsensically with his hands, his eyes widening as he sees my expression. "I didn't mean to—"

"I don't care," I snap coldly. I don't want to be this rude to him, really. It was my fault as much as his. But I still can't stop the words from flying out of my mouth. "You should have been looking where you were going. I don't have the patience for this right now. I don't need a clumsy idiot on top of everything else. It's pouring rain, cold, and wet. This place sucks." I lower my voice to little more than a whisper. "Should've stayed back in the last town. I hate it here. It's a mess."

The boy nods silently throughout my rant, looking equally scared and annoyed, probably just waiting until I stop yelling at him so he can leave. But his expression changes at my last sentence. "Are you maybe..." He pauses when I refocus my glare on him but continues anyway. "...lost?"

"Even if I am, why do you care?"

"You look kind of frustrated, I guess." He wrings his hands together nervously as he waits for a response, but to my surprise, he meets my gaze instead of looking away. I guess he's not quite as scared as I thought.

"Well, you guessed right," I say sarcastically after a long and awkward silence. "I'm lost. Congratulations. You win."

He sighs. "Do you want help?"

"From you?"

He's been meeting my gaze boldly this whole time, but he flinches at the sudden malice lacing my tone. Not that I've been all sunshine and daisies before, but my mood is getting worse and worse and I'm having more trouble controlling myself.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he bites out, his fists clenching. "And what else are you going to do? It doesn't seem like you know where you are or where you're going, and if you talk to people like you hate them, nobody's going to help you."

I hesitate briefly, shocked by the sudden anger in the boy's tone. "I don't know," I mutter, ashamed for lashing out. Again. "I'll find my way home eventually. Probably. It'd be nice if it wasn't dark."