Darkest Wolf

XXIII

Eve's POV

His face. Every time I fell asleep on that hard couch in the middle of that cabin way out there, away from all society and secluded in the calmness of no where, I saw his face. Nathaniel screaming for Sorcha as I plummeted into the dark waters below. It was like he was right in front of me even as I sunk deep into those waters. Waves and water distorted his face but it was the same. It was him.

Then he turned into a Lycan. 

How could that be? The man who was supposed to save all supernatural life was hated by it and hated it equally. It doesn't make sense.

How can he save the world from me?

I sat up in total darkness. All the candles from before were long extinguished and the fireplace was put to rest before I laid down for safety purposes. I wish I hadn't put out the fire. It would be so much easier for the world if I just burned down in this old cabin. Flames engulfing my sleeping body. 

I imagine my hair would go up first. I would waken to the sound of sizzling strands of hair and when I sat up I would see Nathaniel standing at the doorway as yet another one of his mates was taken from him in a cruel and unusual way. Melting flesh would fill the cabin but I wouldn't move. I would stay and let the fire take me no matter how it burned and hurt. Damnation is supposed to hurt.

A shiver rolled through my spine at the thought. I wish I could say it was a bad, scared shiver.

Man, do I wish.

My feet hit the cold floor. So cold. Like misery. Nathaniel was nowhere to be seen. Not inside at least. Howling winds outside shook the well built cabin to the bones in a way that only the night wind can. Consciously I knew that the disappointment of my mate was making me sadistic and callous but in all honesty, I couldn't be bothered to care. My mate, the sole reason for survival and the only person I trusted to make me good enough to stop my mother's premonition, is a lycan.

I scoffed at the Goddess. She gave me this hope- this prayer for redemption for a sin I never committed only to take it away at the last minute?

"What am I supposed to do now," I asked her, sitting high and mighty in her throne in the sky," How am I supposed to go home and face my family knowing that I have failed?!"

She only twinkled back in reply but it wasn't her reply I needed. It was the laughter that followed after. I turned around from my spot just outside the cabin to find Nathaniel sitting on a hill under a small tree. He was cross legged with a green bottle in one hand and the other was draped over his leg. 

His hair was messy from sleep and his shirt was buttoned up but off by a button so it made him look tragically distressed. 

Maybe he is.

Maybe we both are.

"Talking to that bitch doesn't do anything, kid. I've been trying for centuries," he muttered under his breath before taking another drink. When I got closer I noticed it was nearly empty.

How long has he been out here?

"What did you try to say to her?"

"Everything. I asked why she would take my Sorcha from me. Why she left me all alone on this earth. Why I have to live forever here while she sat up there and mocked me. Everything after that was a bit too dirty for me to tell a young chit like yourself."

"I'm not that young," I snarled at him, failing to take a drink of the bottle because he ripped it away from my reach," How old are you anyway?"

"Chronologically? I dunno. Probably hitting up 600. My body stopped aging at 24, though."

"So you're only 581 years older than me. I've seen worse age gaps."

"Our age difference doesn't mean shit to me, kid. You're only here until you leave."

"Maybe I don't want to leave."

My wolf beamed at my forwardness. She was trying so hard to reach out to his wolf but it was like trying to talk to an animal through the glass windows at the zoo. He was unreachable until she was face to face with him.

We have to reach his wolf. You need to change.

I can't do that. I'll go darker.

We have to. What happens if we can't reach him? His wolf is key to reaching him, you know that. Without his wolf you're just another she wolf trying to get his attention.

I sighed. She's right. 

If we're gonna do this, we're doing it right. 

I stood up, ignoring the nasty look he was giving me and reaching out to get him to stand as well. He refused and looked away from me with his bottle hugged to his chest.

"I challenge you to a race," I said to him, tugging my shirt over my head so it wouldn't be damaged in the change," I might even leave if you beat me."

This caught his attention. He looked at me in deep scrutiny. It took everything in me not to squirm.

I've never felt uncomfortable being naked before. It's always been the norm in the Jade Forest, ever since Uncle Kian talked to Alpha Mike about it. We are free spirits, he said, we deserve to show it. 

Everyone knew he was only doing this so Aunt Holly could swim in peace but it worked and from then on we were allowed to remain clothless post change as long as we were in the forest. It makes life a little easier on the people who ruined their clothes. 

But now when Nathaniel stood up and began to undress himself I am left hot and confused? Nerves rack my entire body and I fear his every movement but I never want him to stop coming towards me.

"You're on."