Chapter 22

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Chapter 22

I walk out of the school and all the way home before I can think straight again. It's crazy how this group of people can take a vow like this so seriously. Poor Mia, my heart hurts so bad for her. I wish I could do something, but I need the Dead Boys, they're my friends and practically my family now. I am a Dead Boy now. I am them.

They are my friends and they are the type of friends I've wanted to have my entire life. At my last school, my life was crashing around me and dragging on in a bloody trail of sorrow. Now I have Mia and Hayden and I have the Dead Boys. And Aaron. Oh, and Aaron, I can't even imagine losing him. I don't even have him and the thought of him out casting me makes me sick instantly.

Is it wrong that I'm scared to give that all up? I could tell Mitchell's parents about what I know but in the end what would that do? Mitch is still gone, and I would lose everyone I care about.

Am I any better than the Dead Boys?

"You okay honey?" My mom asks, standing in the doorway of my room.

"I'm okay, I guess." I answer, refusing to look up from the biology textbook on my desk. She comes in wearing a frown and gives me a quick hug. I sigh and hug her back, feeling bad for not giving her attention. In some ways my mother is like a puppy who needs reassurance and love. If she could, she'd follow me around anywhere.

"I love you," I tell her. This makes her smile and she kisses my forehead.

"I love you. I'll call you down when dinner is ready,"

"Sounds good," I smile.

I continue to do some much needed studying for my biology test in a few days but at the same time it's also a much needed distraction from my life and the real world. I forgot how much reading and focusing on your goal can take your mind off of other stresses. It's sad but I rather stress about school than anything else right now. At least stressing over school is productive.

Moving schools and towns and making new friends has honestly pulled me from my studies, something that's always been so important to me. I want to go to a reputable college but the more time that passes, the less likely I'll get into a good school.

"Hey," a voice says from my doorway and my heart stops. I turn in my chair to look at the door and there he is. Aaron in all his glory and beauty, in my room. My heart can't take it for a moment. I suddenly wish that I cleaned my room.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him and he shrugs.

"I don't even know, I just wanted to see you." He says, running a nervous hand through his midnight hair. I watch his movements closely. His hands, his eyes, the way he's biting his lip. Calm and collected Aaron is nervous. I want to do a backflip. I obviously don't go full gymnastics mode, instead I think rationally.

"My mom let you in?" I ask.

"Yes, she was very nice." The conversation is awkward.

I walk up and towards the doorway, and close it behind him. The sound of the door closing sends my heart racing. I'm alone with Aaron in my room, with the door closed. My mind wanders without my permission and I want to curse myself for how much I want the boy only a few feet away from me. Even though he's on the other side of the room, my body aches to be closer to him.

"I missed you, we didn't speak all week." He says, walking over to my bed and sitting down. He's on my bed. Holy cow. Holy cow. Holy cow.

Breathe Bellamy, breathe.

"I missed you too," I say in a quiet but honest voice, avoiding eye contact with him.

"Bell," he sighs.

"Yeah?"

"I know you're mad about Mitchell Reynolds. Azul told me about the conversation you guys had after school today." He looks up at me, and I can see even more worry in his eyes. Does he think I'll tell his family?

"I'm not happy about it, but what can I do?" I ask, walking over to him on the bed.

"When the time is right, we'll tell Mia or his parents or Dove," he says, taking my hand in his. "I don't want you to think of me any different. I don't want you to think I'm a bad person."

Looking at his face right now, so scared of my judgement, practically breaks my heart. He looks so sweet and almost childlike as he looks up at me with his stormy eyes. Without thinking, I reach up and caress his face with the back of my hand, "I could never think you're a bad person. You have light all around you,"

"But you don't agree with the vow, you think the secret we're keeping is wrong." He takes my hand that's not his face and holds it there, like he wants to keep it there forever.

"I do think its wrong," I admit. "But at the same time, if you guys think Mitchell is safer this way, then keep it a secret. I would hate to out his secret and then it be the reason for his death."

"That's true. It's not an easy decision." He sighs and I can tell he's pretty shaken up right now.

"Hey, its okay. We don't have to decide anything right now." I put my other hand on his face and run my fingertips through his hairline. He closes his eyes, sighing and enjoying my touch. I need him. I keep pushing myself away from him but if the Dead Boys want to keep secret information about a missing son then I should be able to follow my heart.

"I want you Bellamy," He looks at me with intent and it's like his confidence has returned. I bite my lip looking at him. So many thoughts tumble through my head. So many thought's and so many decisions.

"Aaron," I whisper. His eyes flash open to look at me and I can see so many things in them. A cloud of emotions whirls around between us and every cell in my body is drawn to him.

"I need you Bellamy," He says, and I fall into his kiss.

We kiss for a long time, enjoying our lips pressing together, enjoying our roaming hands and the electricity between us. We lay down in my bed in each other's embrace, with our lips glued to each other. It's a beautiful feeling being able to feel him like this. Being so close to him is exciting and bringing every part of my body alive. It feels like I can't breathe because all my breath is going to him.

Our lips fit together like they were made for each other. As if every crevice and crease on my lip was made to fit every crevice and crease in his. My hands are in his hair and his hands are on my waist and back, gripping my skin. Surely, I'll have bruises from his fingertips tomorrow, and I am completely okay with it. I want him to mark my skin. As if he reads my mind, he starts kissing my neck and I sigh heavily from the force of his mouth.

Aaron begins to tug on my t-shirt and a different type of feeling begins to spread through me. I want him. I want every part of him, right here, right now.

Then suddenly, the worst thing that could've happened, happened.

My door swung open and every Dead Boy stood in the doorway of my bedroom, staring at us.


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A/N

Three chapters in two days? You guys better love me.

Comment and tell me what ya'll think.

-Hannah

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