Aquamarine ➳ Theon Greyjoy

➳ 6 // As a Black Raven

:A N A S T A R K:

"You'd make a fine queen one day"

How difficult it is to understand the mind, how difficult it is to understand how powerful simple words can be, how they can haunt someone for the rest of their days or even their entire lives. My mind was either going at the slowest pace or the fastest it has ever been, probably to match with my own erratic heartbeat that was pounding so hard against my chest.

My reflection was staring back at me and it was clear to see the anxious state in the mirror that stood by the candles. My brown eyes were a dark shade which made my skin look even paler than it already was, my entire face almost looked lifeless to anyone who had not met me with some sort of expression on it. Fear was starting to take over not only my heart, but my entire body as my hands also started to shake slightly as I fished the braids on my hair.

Sansa was looking as happy as ever as mother stood behind her fixing up her hair in a way she had asked her to. This was in fact a special occasion to dress up and she was clearly in her element, the more refined dress that she had made and the best hairstyle that our mother's hands could do.

"Do you think Joffrey will like me?" Sansa broke the silence making me look at her in dread "what if he thinks I'm ugly?"

"No soul would dare think you're anything but beautiful sister" I started to walk towards her, giving my mother some sort of smile.

There was nothing else on my sister's mind that the prince with bright yellow hair. She had talked about him for what seemed like ages as we made our way back into the chambers, she was being bathed and talked about him and it seemed the conversation would be the same even in mother's presence. For me, however, it was not a great topic.

Joffrey was the only son of Robert Baratheon, and since I am the eldest and slightly past the age of proposal it most likely meant that I was the one to unite the houses in marriage. I was not aware if Sansa knew of this or not, but I also did not intend to be the one telling her about it. Talking about such things would only make them more real, and I didn't even wish for them to be a dream nor a nightmare.

"When would we be married?" Mother, at this question shared a look with me "what? Would he marry Ana? I could marry him if she doesn't want to"

"There has been a proposition" mother's pale eyes looked up to my own and then Sansa's "but Ana has received a marriage proposition a long time ago, and your father does not wish to break that bond. A choice is still to be made"

There was no resting for my heart. If I was not to marry Joffrey there would still be someone, and the worst thing of all, is that I had already been promised a long time a go and was unaware of such a thing.

The rest of the conversation seemed to fade out from my ears, their voices starting to sound even more distant as they spoke of leaving Winterfell. I did not want to hear any of it, not now, not ever. I took one deep breath and left the chamber as both women kept talking away of things I wished not to hear.

Making my way through the halls was never hard for me, as I child I explored every inch of Winterfell with Robb by my side at fist, then came his trainings and that had left me and Jon alone so he became my partner and we proceeded with our explorations. He was, like me, a curious child. But he also knew better, he knew he didn't have the same rights as me, that he couldn't sit by side to discuss what we had found in the dining table and that made him fill up with some sadness.

The cold seeped into the castle, the stones being cold to the touch as I ran my hand through the walls as I kept walking. I was counting, not the stones nor my steps. Just saying numbers in a small whisper as a way to keep my mind grounded and perhaps steady my heartbeat to prepare myself for the rest of the evening. These would probably be my last moments of peace and quiet before the banquet, which was sure to be filled with loud noises and chants and the insane amount of profanity and happiness that was only driven by wine. The happy beverages that some drank to forget about themselves.