Chapter 18

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Erika's P.O.V.

I stared out the small window at the moon and stars, it was gorgeous. 

I have such a shitty view out of the window in my room, all I can ever see is the parking lot and a little bit of the yard. Kage can see the city lights through his and that beautiful at night and all but this is just amazing. 

Kage shifted next to me and rested his arm around my shoulders.

"Is this a nice date or what?" He asked me. I nodded and looked at him.

"It's really nice, Kage." Every once in a while, my happiness would be rudely interrupted by thoughts of Jess. I wish I never found out about it... it tears me up so much because it wasn't that long ago. I'll never know what his true feelings for her were but he sure got over them quickly... sometimes I think like what if I'm just the new Jess?

"Kage why her? I know you said you were desperate then but..." I said, trailing off. I felt more and more nervous as I spoke. His eyes burned into my soul.

"Erika, you are the only girl I ever want to be with. To me, you are as perfect as it gets. I would still feel the same if I had never had a previous relationship okay? Please stop thinking about her, she doesn't mean anything to me." He explained, making me feel kind of stupid.

"Okay."

"You have been acting so strange lately, what happened to the 'no-shits-given' Erika?"

"I realized I love you and I don't know what I'm doing," I said in a joking tone even though its completely true. He chuckled and pulled me into a tight hug.

"I love you too." He mumbled, resting his chin on top of my head as I closed my eyes. I rested my forehead on his chest... he was so warm I could honestly cuddle him forever.

He is right though, I have changed a lot. I used to put up this front so I could distance myself from everyone and go through life acting as if I couldn't care less. Once I let that wall down, I allowed myself to feel emotions and care about others like I did when I was younger.

I looked up at Kage, his eyes meeting mine. It's like we have this unspoken connection that I've never felt before. I'm not quite sure how to explain it but it's absolutely amazing.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and leaned my head against him, resting my hands on his waist. Kage lifted up my chin so that I would look at him. 

"Erika, I love you and nothing will ever change that. I could think of a million reasons why right now but... I feel like you already know." He mumbled before connecting our lips. I swear this boy has some magic powers because every time we kiss, I feel as though my entire body is going haywire.

"But sometimes you doubt it and I never want you to think for a second that I don't love you." He continued. I blushed at his words and turned my head to avoid eye contact. Kage cuddled me and gently moved my chin to face him.

"I know more about you thank you think." He stated. I furrowed my brows and sat up a bit, leaning against the heavy boxes behind me. 

"Like what?" I challenged him.

"I know you are afraid to get attached to me; to commit when you've been hurt by people you love. I know that you trust me but you don't trust your own judgement... and I know you want to sleep with me but are too afraid to ask." He said, the last part with a bit more of a cocky tone in his voice.

My jaw dropped and I stared at him in amazement... damn he's way more observant than I thought. 

"Annnd how do you know that?"

"Well that other stuff I can tell by the way you talk and how you have started to open up... that last part I know because you keep staring me like I'm a piece of meat." I giggled and shook my head at his statement as he smirked.

"I am not! I don't even eat meat!"

"Ok, then you're staring at me like I'm a carrot."

"Good point," I said. He looked me up and down before smirking and glancing off to the side.

"What?" I asked him, not knowing that he was doing.

Biting his bottom lip, he sat up on his knees over my legs, placing his hands on the heavy boxes behind me. He stared down at me; I knew since the day I met him that he liked power. He enjoys making others feel small and it gives him a sense of control to be able to tower over someone.

"I want to kiss you right now." He spoke, his gaze never leaving mine.

"Why don't you?" I asked, my words coming out as whispers as I got lost in his eyes.

"No... I mean I want to slam you against the wall and kiss you." My heart began to race as I stared back at him, the feeling of shock and anxiety tried to take over but the unfamiliar emotion of curiousness and excitement soon overruled. 

"What?" I simply asked, my mind becoming cloudy.

Kage tilted my head to the side and leaned down, placing a few kisses down my neck and collarbone. I felt his warm hands snake their way up my shirt and make circles around my waist. My mind was overcome with excitement and I closed my eyes, embracing the moment. Everything seemed perfect. 

"Hey hun, I was the girl Kage used to fuck before he met you."

I was met with the blurry image of Jess and her smirk as she said that. I knew this was just my mind playing with me but I couldn't shake her... I opened my eyes to look at Kage reassuringly only to see... D-Dr.Finch? His eyes pierced into my soul and that creepy smile... I can't do this. 

My breath got caught in my throat as I tried getting away, I felt as though I couldn't speak. He was stronger than me and I couldn't push him away... I felt so powerless. As I continued trying to push him farther, I could feel his grimy hands trying to pull me closer.

"Erika..." I remembered the disgusting hickeys he left. How he carelessly used and blackmailed me if I tried resisting.

"Get away from me!" I yelled at him only to be met with his voice again but softer and more concerned.

"Erika?" 

"Stop! Stop stop stop stop please.." I said, tears starting to roll down my face.

"Hey, hey it's okay, Erika. I-it's me, Kage." I looked back to see Kage looking like a lost puppy trying to figure out what's wrong. I looked at him like I had just seen a ghost as he pulled me close and hugged me. Even after I realized everything was alright, the tears wouldn't stop. I eventually rested my head against his chest and sobbed as he held me.

"Shhh it's alright, I'm here... I love you." Kage's voice comforted me as I heard his heartbeat slow down. He brushed his fingers through my hair, holding me tighter and leaning his back against the wall. I suddenly felt exhausted.

"I... love you too," I said, falling asleep to the rhythm of his heartbeat soon after. 


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