Miscellanea

The Hardest Goodbye

I sent you something as a dare
Because I wasn't able to show you how much I care.
As usual, you chose to ignore it.
So I deemed you "The Heartbreak Culprit."
You ignored every advance I made,
But no matter what, it's okay.
I'm aware you know I like you more than you like me,
But it's difficult because I wished that you would see
The way you make me happy as soon as you arrive.
Before you walked in, I always felt more shy.
I thought to myself, "If only I were better, nicer, prettier..."
Instead I found that it only made me pettier.
Why couldn't you just like me as I am?
Why couldn't you give just a single damn?
You never seemed to care about how I really felt.
Instead, we ignored it together: an emotional tattered belt.

You'll be away, who knows how long.
But I can't forget you, you're like a sad song.
You're stuck in my head, playing on repeat.
Forgetting you is no easy feat.
I try to listen to other music,
But anything else makes me feel sick.
I just want you here with me,
But you're glad to be rid of this city.
I can't help but think that in reality, you're glad to be rid of me.
After all, the look of annoyance in your eyes was one I could always see.

I finally deleted the pictures I had:
The selfies you sent that now make me sad.
I changed my profile picture to me alone;
The picture of us is no longer shown.
You said we would still try to be friends,
But you left so eagerly, I knew it would end.
Neither of us has said goodbye,
We pretend that we still are going to try.
However, we both know we are gone from each other,
The thought of goodbye making us shudder.
I deleted our conversation today
Because I know that you would never stay.
I promised myself to not text you first,
If I do, I'll surely be cursed.
You were my friend, that will always be true,
But these will be the last words that I write for you.

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