Dead Reckoning - A Gregorio del Pilar x Reader story

XL - Ambedo

n. a kind of melancholic trance in which you become completely absorbed in vivid sensory details—raindrops skittering down a window, tall trees leaning in the wind, clouds of cream swirling in your coffee—briefly soaking in the experience of being alive, an act that is donepurely for its own sake.

* * *

A few more days of walking, realizing that it is just us now with no one ensuring our backs, it had been fleeting to me the next days of our odyssey. After all, Goyo remains remorseful of what happened, still blaming himself for what happened with the rearguard. Despite my insistence to talk to him to soothe down the tension, he would just nod or shake his head or if he does talk, it will just be short and prim, and in a whisper. Even whatever Enteng or the others wish to tell him, they send the message with me as the messenger. In short, only I manage to converse with him.

As we trail some plain after a few days of treking, a mountain had been visible along the horizon, unique on its own as its top shows a peak of stone. And there is no doubt that we'll be needing to trek it as well if such distance will continue keeping the Americans away from us.

I sigh heavily at the sight, one that immediately catches the attention of Goyo, who've been walking next to me.

"Pendejo," he calls softly. "Pagod na?"

"May pagka." I sigh again, a little surprised that he is starting the conversation after a few days that I end up to have the first and last words. "Pero kaya pa. Nakakahiya at baka ipatigil mo pa ang lahat para lamang makapagpahinga ako."

"Totoo," he agrees. "Buhatin ka na lang kung ganoon."

I blush a little and look away from him. "Hindi mo ako kaya."

"Hindi ko naman sinabi na ako ang magbubuhat sa iyo."

I blush much more.

"Pero binigyan mo ako bigla ng ideya." He laughs a little before taking a shaky breath. "Pendejo... pasensya na kung nadamay ka sa lahat ng ito."

I look back at him and realize how sadness paints his face.

He is visibly hurt and exhausted, but his eyes still has the same spark that his words are truly genuine. After all, at the start of this journey, he'd been guilty that if he had prepared much earlier, we could've fought against the Americans than to flee; and after what happened a few days ago, he was filled with remorse that he wasn't a capable leader. And now, here he is, apologizing to me.

"Hindi mo kailangan humingi ng tawad sa akin," I tell him and smile softly. "Kahit malaman ko na ganito ang mangyayari sa simula pa lamang, at mas nanaisin kong manatili sa Dagupan... alam ko na, sasama at sasama pa rin ako sa inyo."

He looks at me, not quite believing his words.

I smile much more. "Baka nga naging luho para sa akin ang katahimikan ng mga panahon natin sa Dagupan. Pero, ginusto ko pa rin na nandito. Kaya wala ka dapat ipag-alala. Naniniwala ako na malalampasan din natin ang lahat ng ito."

"Sana nga."

"Anong 'sana nga' ka diyan? Isipin mo na may mas mahalaga kang dapat maisagot pagkatapos ng lahat ng ito."

"Aba... may sagot akong kailangan sagutin? Ano ito? Talata ng mga nangyari?"

I bite my lower lip. "Parang ganoon na nga. Pero... isipin mo na lang, paano mo ba gusto maalala ng mga tao? Hmm?"

He looks surprised with my question, and he didn't say anything.

"Isipin mo na lang... itong nangyari, paano ka maalala ng susunod na henerasyon. Sa pangalan o sa nagawa mo?"