I am Daniel Denner. Let me get one thing straight; I have had enough of seeing my friends and family almost get crushed by huge meteors and chunks of buildings. It happens all the time. Some big bad supervillan comes marching into our peaceful town of Tinyville, all tricked out in black or red or whatever color screams "I want to mess up Daniel's week" and they start to go nuts all around town. They dont think about us. Depending on what villan, we are a few things, pawns in the governments machine,(for some reason a hippie went all evil in the 60's), bugs to be squashed(this is usually from the big guys), or sentient emotional life forms, (robots, you would think that they'd stop building them after that).
All the problems that I have can be traced back to those guys. I try and have a good day but something just has to happen. For example, when I'm driving to work and there's a back up of traffic, Terrible Typhon chose that one day to flood the highway until he had his demands met. He thought it had to be on a friday, of all the days to try and destroy the world. Or when The Wall threw my office in the middle of the ocean. With all the things that I've gone through it's amazing that I haven't gone completely insane, or join the bad guys.
There's this one group of supervillians that has a dominion over Tinyville, The Brotherhood of Breakers. They go around destroying our stuff, and making about as much of a mess as they possiblely can before the calvary comes in. When I say the calvalry, it's not just a phrase; I mean The Calvalry as in one of the few superheroes that comes to protect this town. This guy rides into the town in this giant truck and when he gets to the villians he is shot out of the car. He starts throwing all these ninja stars."Wow, thats amazing, he must be really strong and fast and smart". The people standing next to me thought the same way. Then it got a lot worse, this is basically how it went. Imagine The Wall slamming into the town bank, two bags full of cash around his shoulders. A black tank noisely comes up the road, and The Calvalry does his whole shtick, throwing all these things and landing smoothly on the ground.
"This is your last robbery Wall, your rage and destruction has come to an end. It's all the same with you strong types, just punch and yell and do it all again. Now I will be your final-"
Before Calvalry can finish his essay complete with rhyming and alliteration and emotion, The Wall has punched him through at least two buildings.
I have grown tired of all of these things that happen. A villain ruining my day again and again. Heroes who don't know how to do their jobs. While all of this going on, I'ved had an idea. I dont want to be the ragdoll that villans think I am and I dont want to be the collateral damage that the clueless heroes think I am, so I'll cut out the middle man, I'll be a superhero myself. It can't be too hard, right?
