The Ballad of Duke Baloney

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Webby, Louie, and I sat in a medium sized boat, rowing along the docks of Duckburg. Well, I was the only one sitting. Webby was standing at the head of the boat, and Louie was lounging on the opposite side. I sat adjacent to both of them.

It was a cloudy day in Duckburg, and almost chilly. Which made it perfect for fishing. Because, you know, when it rains, the bugs fall into the water because they can't fly in rain, so all the fish are near the top of the water to eat the bugs? That's what Uncle Donald told me. And who am I to contradict him? He's lived on his boat longer than I have, and he was in the navy, so he's got a bunch of knowledge about the ocean.

The kids both had their lifejackets on, and I had one as well. I rowed the boat along, being the strongest and oldest of us all.

"Ah, fishing," Webby sighed. "The noble struggle of man versus nature..."

"The you, gently rowing me around, for several hours while I nap," Louie mused, now wearing sunglasses. I rolled my eyes.

"The jumping and throwing of pointy sticks! Hyah!" Webby shouted, rocking the boat.

I struggled to steady it, sending a glare towards Webby. She sheepishly smiled back.

She shoved a fish in Louie's face, getting him wet with Fish Water and Fish Slime.

"Ew! Gross!" He complained. "Can't you just use these?" He motioned towards the fishing rods.

"They are safer. And probably easier," I added.

"Sure," She agreed, "But no rusty fishhook is complete without-"

"Bait!" We heard, yelled from the docks. "Get your bait here!"

"That was convenient," I noted.

~~~

We docked the boat, before heading down the docks towards the bait shop.

"Sooo, are we gonna get live bait, or dead bait?" I asked. "'Cuz I'm not really comfortable with live bait. Why kill an innocent worm for a fish we're just gonna throw back in the ocean?"

"Oh. Well, I had planned on bringing the fish we catch back to the mansion. You know, so Granny can cook them!" Webby explained.

I thought about it. "Hm... Fish does sound pretty good," I mused.

We approached the bait stand, Webby running ahead of Louie and I. We stopped as the fisherman set down an octopus, somehow splashing water all in his face. I swear, this kid has got luck like Uncle Donald sometimes.

I looked at the fisherman. He seemed... familiar? But I couldn't quite put my finger on it. The kids, on the other hand, very much could.

"Aaah! Glomgold!" They screamed in unison. Why is that name so...

OH! He's the billionaire guy, the one who went missing! Also, the guy who kidnapped Uncle Donald and tried to kill us in Atlantis. What a lunatic.

I defensively stepped in front of the kids, subtly, but enough so that I could deflect any attacks.

He put the meat cleaver into the cutting board. "Hello, children. Bait for sail. Buy 7 tentacles, the eight is free! Buckets of savings!"

"Uh, Glomgold?" The kids asked in unison. He sounded... different. I've never been good at placing accents but he sounded... Dutch, maybe?

Just then, the squid he laid on the cutting board, turned around and inked him in the face. He coughed and gagged, frantically wiping the ink off of his face.

Webby hopped onto a crate, to reach his height level a bit more. "What's with the South African accent?" Ah, I totally knew that. "Why is your posture so good? What's on your face?" She stepped back down.

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