The Deathless Trilogy

1.18. Virtual Battle

Winston springs up and we follow him into virtual battle. My mind screams at my body to stop, but the adrenaline has taken hold, and there's no turning back now. I can't see anything but scattering uniforms zigzagging through the yard and blood spilling onto the soil, staining the dirt. Some soldiers lie on the ground writhing in pain and screaming, while others lie motionless in pools of blood. Most just ignore the wounded and killed, though, loading their weapons as they step over bodies.

I hear Mitchell scream at the soldiers to throw down their weapons, but everything else fades into a blur of tones. I know that soldiers are throwing down their weapons and screaming as our group shoots them one by one, but all I can hear is my own breathing as I race to catch up with Mom.

She runs ahead of me, following Phoebe, Alexander, and Winston, and shooting at the remaining soldiers. They stand helplessly, waiting to be shot, until finally they are, and it feels so cowardly. What we are doing isn't a show of strength, but of weakness. I feel sick, but I have to catch up to Mom. I am too scared not to be at her side now. My legs strain as I widen my strides, but she's too fast. She has always been faster than me.

I watch her shoot at soldiers ahead of us like she's hunting for food. They seem just as confused and scared as the rabbits back home were, and I'm reminded of what it was like being Misty, how everything I saw shrunk to a tiny circle until my sight finally imploded into blackness. These soldiers-virtual or not-have no idea what's happening. They are lost and blind and scared, and then bullet sneaks up on them and stops their hearts.

The blurred tones grow louder as the agonizing screams multiply, and I try to remember that this is just a computer program.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Alexander running toward my mom, and I can hear that he's screaming something, though it's inaudible over the sounds of war.

Alexander screams again, but this time I hear him: "Watch out!" Mom stops to hear him, and I'm able to catch up to her.

Time slows.

The fog clears to reveal a masked soldier emerging from the bunker, lifting his gun toward my mom. He pulls the trigger.

I hear the bullet leave the chamber. Something flashes in the sun. And I grab my mom before she falls to the ground. It's all that I can do now that she's been shot.

Phoebe shoots the soldier in the head, and keeps running through the crowd, like it's nothing.

Mom is heavy in my arms and we fall into the mud. I'm too weak to keep her upright. I can barely even breathe. At some point between the bullet leaving the chamber and us hitting the ground, I have begun crying. Hot liquid pours over my arms where I hold Mom. It's her blood. Her entire chest is wet with it, and with each frantic breath, more spills onto her shirt. I'm reminded of the rabbit, of its blood-stained fur that was the color of Mom's hair. I don't want to look at her face-I'm afraid I won't ever be able to look at her the same way again-so I stroke her virtual hair.

"Declan was right," she whispers, wincing and shaking in pain. "I can feel everything." She coughs and more blood spills from her wound. She is struggling to breathe, so I sit her up and rest her against my body, stuffing a frantically ripped piece of fabric from my sleeve into the bullet hole.

A bullet whizzes past my face, and it startles all the pain from my chest up into my cheeks. They fill with heat, and, like a reflex, I pick up Mom's gun. I aim and shoot at a soldier running toward us. He grunts in pains, and collapses to the ground.

"That was my gun," Mom stutters, but in that moment I was a different person. I wanted him dead. I thought I'd feel something if I ever killed a man, but I'm too overrun with anger to care at all right now.