{slight trigger warning. Stay safe<3}
July 22, 2006
Rae's POV:
After sprinting upstairs and locking my door, I paced myself on the wool rug in my room. It was bound to be another one of those nights. I started biting my nails, trying to focus on a way to get out of everything.
That night was nothing new. I was pretty used to the yelling, violence, and various threats that were always being thrown my way. All that kept me afloat in the atmosphere I was stranded in was pity and false hope. I had held onto those two things when it came to my dad but over the years I had started to run short. My guess was that there had to have been a shortage in both that caused me to have all the confidence I had that fateful night.
I can't stay here any longer. I'm far past my breaking point...
All of my thoughts were focused on formulating an escape plan until I was interrupted by a pounding on my door, a sound I was all too familiar with.
"RAE, OPEN THIS DOOR!" my dad hollered through slurred words.
God, I just cannot handle him anymore!
Overtaken by a sudden burst of adrenaline, I decided I needed to barricade myself from the threat waiting behind my door. My eyes immediately fell to my grandmother's antique, dark-wood dresser that I had been gifted several years ago. She had given the dresser to us to replace the one prior to it. The old one had been damaged beyond repair one night in a drunken stupor performed by none other than my father. I remembered it taking at least two people to even move it across the room but in that instant, it was equivalent to dragging around a camp chair. Continuing with what at the moment seemed like such a sound way to protect myself, I wasn't satisfied until the dresser was stacked with books, my record player and speakers, an ottoman, a lamp, pillows and blankets, and much more.
As I took a step back to view the fortress I had created, I finally refocused on the noise coming from behind the door.
" Did you hear me?! I said what the a-actual hell are you doing in there?! I swear to god, Rae, I will beat this-this fucking door down if you don't o-open it in the next 30 seconds!"
I felt beads of sweat start to form on my forehead. If there was one thing I could always count on in a home like this, it was my father's physical capabilities when he had any sort of liquor in his system.
I scurried about my room, hands shaking and sweating, as my eyes frantically scanned every nook and cranny of my surroundings, looking for some sort of "plan B" to appear. As fear began to take over I was desperate for another burst of courage to get me into another course of action.
I have to leave! I have to leave now! But how the hell can I?! I just blocked myself off in here!
The constant pounding and yelling behind my door suddenly came to a halt. The brief moment of silence was almost more frightening than the racket before. It wasn't long until I heard unbalanced footsteps stomp down the hall to the staircase.
This is my chance to escape! I can move the dresser enough to slip by and make a break for it out the front door!
No, I'm bound to run into him on my way out. There's no way I can slip past him...
Well, then I can head out the back door! It's significantly closer! Maybe-
Wait, if anything, he went right into the garage which is next to the back door, you complete fucking idiot. He's probably grabbing a screwdriver or a hammer... or a gun...
YOU ARE READING
Behind the sea (Ryan Ross/ Panic! At the Disco)
RomantikusRae, a lost, 18 year old girl who went from having everything to nothing in one instant. Because of the calamity of her mother's death at age 9, Rae's father became an extreme, out-of-control alcoholic. That was when nightmares and abuse began to t...
