Evanescing The Facade

8. Caged Butterflies

"Now she is like a watered down version, pale and thin. She slips through the cracks unnoticed. She fades into the background, afraid of saying the wrong thing. She grows sharp edges and won't let anyone get closer."

If Mishti had to stop and perceive her life from a viewer's vantage point, she would find no existence of permanence throughout. Everything she has ever loved was either snatched away or just chose to leave her behind. She has grown to love sandcastles and ice sculptures as a child. The two things that require superior skills for construction but a mere wave of water or a ripple of heat to reduce to 'nothings'. She had grown to believe how everything beautiful is a temporary illusion, how everything aesthetic was either once ugly or will be diminished to ugly once people lose interest and how every moment of bliss is a temporary illumination of light. Her life was a series of delusional fantasies and grim realities. She had learnt it early to walk on the grounds on her own feet and not expect any succour if she falls.

 The world always discerned her as someone who carried ivory and indifference in the black sapphires that her eyes were but the truth was, she carried incessant pools of confusions in them. There was a wintry girl behind the summer of sunshine like smiles. She yearns for warmth to engulf her, she yearns to fold herself in an origami…...away from distress.

"There is so much of everything behind the mouthful of nothings, you just have to listen."

Too dazed from the nightmare, the mighty Mishti had never looked so forlorn and vulnerable. She was held in her Badi Maa's comfortingly tight embrace with her conscience wandering off to a parallel universe where she could find silver linings in the storm clouds. Though her eyes were wide open, she was frivolously gazing at nothing in particular. It's been 47 minutes since she woke up trembling from the ephialtes that seemed to have sucked the life out of her. Abir was still kneeling down beside her bed, unacknowledged. Her condition scared him to the wits. She has been getting terror dreams since months about that doomed night near the resort but the aftermath of this particular dream was not a sight to behold. Badi Maa tried to make small talks with her to pull her out of her reverie but failed miserably.

Badi Maa gently pulled her daughter out of her embrace and pecked her forehead. She had spoken to the doctor and the psychologist last night. They had strictly warned to be careful about what they say around her. Reviving her old self was going to be a long and exigent process. They had to take little steps and make sure Mishti isn't pressurised with anything. The progression towards rejuvenation could involve something as simple as letting her dress up the way she used to. 

BM- Mishti, you know I have been missing my Gudiya Rani a lot.

She kept caressing her hair to make sure she was listening.

M- But I...I am right here Badi Maa.

BM- Yes you are. But you are no more my little gudiya rani, you look all grown up now.

Mishti looked at her with confusion.

BM- Now that you will be staying with me for some days, why don't wear those frocks that you used to. Your Bade Papa misses his pari, you know!

Mishti smiled at her demand until a wave of pessimism crashed into the mud island that her brain was. Doubts and fears replaced the ephemeral moment of knowing that she was missed.

M- You...you are deluding the truth, aren't you?

BM- What truth, Mishti?

M- No.. Nobody wants me in Rajvansh Sadan anymore, right? You..you are burdened with me again. I...I spoilt everything, didn't I?