Lou x reader (one shots)

Let me help you.

‼️TW: Depression, mental illness, past abuse with alcohol, self harm.‼️ please don't read if any of this triggers you. I'm also going from my past experiences as tonight is a hard night for me so I want to put my energy into writing.

It was just one of those days where you woke up and felt nothing. You where numb, you didn't even bother getting out of bed you just laid there looking at the ceiling. You had work to do with Debbie, scoping out a new place for a small heist but the thought of being around people when nothing was worth it made you sink into your bed. You hated these days where your skin felt on fire and you couldn't even bring yourself to feel angry or upset.
You must of fell asleep in your thoughts as you woke up to constant banging on your apartment door, you groaned and tugged the covers over you face. The knocking stopped but was replaced with a clicking sound and your door opening; you tried to give a shit but you didn't you just stared at the wall hoping whoever it was that was breaking into your apartment would be quick to take what they want and put you out your misery.
'Y/n? Are you here? You heard the Aussie twang belonging to no other then one Lou Miller.
You sank even more into your mattress, you was not ready for this you didn't want anyone to see you like this especially not the woman you had caught feelings for.
You heard her walking around your living room and kitchen until she walked into your bedroom and stopped in her tracks, she'd never seen you this way and she never wanted to see it again. You looked dead there was no colour in you at all, your body laid there as if it wasn't occupied, her heart dropped seeing you like this.
'Y/N darling, what's going on?' Lou asked in a strained voice, you just stared at her. Too tired to answer and too tired to care, you just couldn't do it and the look she gave you sent a dagger of pain and guilt threw your heart.
'Please talk to me Y/N, we've all been worried about you. Let me help you.' She was on her knees next to you stroking your hair, that gesture made everything too much as your numbness gave in to an override of emotions. You shook your head and tried to bury yourself more in the duvet, trying to hide your tears.

But Lou wasn't having it and whipped them off you, exposing you. You wanted to run as no one was supposed to know about this, you'd kept everything under control with dealing with it by yourself. Now you had someone who was going to look at you with pity and you just couldn't handle it. You peaked one eye open and saw Lou stood there, you where surprised to see no pity, no shame, she looked like she understood that she too can remember when she had been in this position. She gently sat next to you and started to lightly brush your messy hair again. It soothed you and made you look up and meet her eyes. 'How about I run you a hot bath, and then I'll put you right to bed and we can watch your favourite film.' The thought of moving was impossible for you to grasp but you just nodded and gave her a small smile. Lou was desperately trying to get you out of your head as  it was clear you was dealing with some shit.
She ran you a bath using your favourite bath soap, made lots of bubbles and put one of your fluffy towels in the dryer for when you got out. She came in and practically carried you to the bathroom, what snapped you out of your haze was when Lou was asking for permission to help you undress, you felt your chest tighten and tears formed as you thought about what was hiding underneath. It was a coping mechanism for a long time along with alcohol, getting drunk then hurting yourself it was just a normal routine for you to deal with what was happening. You'd never told anyone always wearing long sleeves and trousers never vests or shorts you just couldn't let anyone know.

Lou saw your distress and bent down to look at you. 'Hey sweetheart, tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours? I'm not going to hurt you, I want to help you. No Judgment.' The last part made your eyes prick you could hear the honesty seeping through but you was scared, you just couldn't bare someone you cared about to look at you with such disgust when she'd see what you'd done to yourself. Lou was still looking at you, she didn't want to frighten you so she shuffled back a bit, an idea came into her head to make you feel less vulnerable.
You looked at Lou as she slowly started to strip out of her clothes, then her tie and jewellery until she was left in a black silk bra and black boxers, you looked at her with disbelief and a faint blush on your face, she gently moved towards you again and placed her hands on your cheek 'now you've seen all of me, well sort of.' She giggled which made you let out a surprise breath ' I- I' you tried to speak but your throat was so dry 'I just don't look like you, I've done some stuff to myself that has left me with some damage.' You said croakily, you looked Lou up and down admiring her milky skin with no flaws whatsoever. Lou tilted your head up with a finger under your chin 'no you don't. You're beautiful and strong, you fight everyday in order to try live, you've kept this all to yourself and I think for once honey you deserve to let someone else help you and let them love you. Your battle scars show how far you've come angel and there's nothing to be ashamed of.' You sat there stunned, gazing up at you her words sink in your aching bones soothing you, she bent down and kissed your cheek as you bathed in the warmth of her.

'Ok' you said and she understood right away, she bent down again so you was eye level, she slowly reached for the hem of your sleep shirt, her eyes asking for permission as you nodded. She gently removed it as you closed your eyes, you instinctively placed your arms around you as your scars became exposed to someone else instead of you. They where on your arms, shoulders and stomach and you could feel yourself going back into that mindset that Lou had managed to get you out of, you felt Lou trace each one from your arms to your tummy until you felt her lips kiss a rather deep bumpy scar on your shoulder. 'You are beautiful, and you don't deserve to ever feel this pain ever again.' You could hear the emotion in her voice as you looked up into her blue eyes. You bit your lip to stop it from trembling as she looked at you with nothing but admiration. She pulled you onto your feet and again asked for permission to take your pj pants off, again you nodded and she gently pulled them off your legs, crouching down to take them off your feet. She then looked at you, your legs told the same story and she gently caressed both of them and kissing all the pain away, you gasped at her soft touch. You still felt vulnerable stood there in just your briefs, hands still covering your chest.

She stood up and gave you one last smile 'I'll leave you to get in while I clean up your room.' You nodded as she walked out, you stripped and got in the bath which made your body go all loose and funny, you must've just sat there for what felt like hours not moving going into that hole again when a tap at the door brought you out of it. 'Y/N sweetheart are you alright? I haven't heard you move do you need me to come in?' You was stunned you thought you'd only sat here for 5 minutes, when actually it had been 20, before you could say anything the door opened to reveal a worried looking Lou.
You just pushed your knees up and wrapped your arms around them as you rested your chin on them. She stepped closure like she was nearing a caged animal 'y/n can I touch you? I mean can I wash your hair?' You nodded after a minute and felt Lou gently pouring water over your head, to help her out you bent your head backwards, she gently brushed your hair back and started lathering it in your shampoo. You let out small groans when she massaged your scalp it felt like she was rubbing away your bad thoughts, after washing your hair she grabbed a flannel to wash your back and shoulders, she then (with your consent) washed your chest and stomach then your legs. By now all the tension had left your body as Lou was wiping your face so softly, you reached out and touched her cheek and smiled at her. It's all you could do at the moment as you felt sleep trying to take you. With Lous help you stood up and felt a warm fluffy towel being wrapped around you, helping you out of the tub and into your bedroom Lou had made your bed with a fresh pair of pjs waiting for you, the tv was ready with a film and she'd made a small bowl of fruit for you to eat. You sat down on the bed and stared at her. You said a small thank you while she helped you into your clothes, moisturised your face and hands and brushed your hair and braided it.
You'd never felt this loved, Lou placed you on top of the sheets and moved the bowl near you, she knew you hadn't eaten anything so you attempted to eat a strawberry to stop her from worrying. Lou was still in her underwear so she placed her shirt back on and sat next to you. With a force of confidence you moved to lay your head on her shoulder while wrapping your arms around her waist, she tightened her grip on you as she played the film.
You two laid like that for a while when you looked up she was staring ' you don't have to fight this by yourself anymore,let me be here I want to support you. I love you Y\N I just want to make you feel better.' You had tears in your eyes as you reached up and kissed her gently 'thank you for doing this, I was scared it was out of pity but you've showed me kindness that no one else has ever done. I've showed you things that have brought me so much pain but you made me feel safe and beautiful. I love you too Lou, please stay with me tonight I don't think I could cope without you right now.' You said letting out all your emotion.
'I'm not going anywhere darling, let's get through this tonight and tomorrow we can talk about everything else, ok?'
You nodded as she brought you back to hugging her and laying down. You soon fell asleep with a warmth running through your body.

Should I make a part two? I was thinking Lou helping the reader getting counselling etc but idk. Also this fic isn't here to offend it's just something more personal to me as I wish someone would help me through my dark times. I suppose this brings some comfort for me and hopefully you.💜