Lou x reader (one shots)

Let Me Go. Part 2

Hi everyone, Part 2 is here and I hope you all like it, it'll probably be a three part story as I feel there's a lot to deal with. Please know that I'm here anytime someone's needs a stranger to talk to💜
❗️TW❗️Mental Illness, Self-harm, suicidal thoughts and attempt, fighting.

Alone. You thought, where could you go to have the world to yourself? Somewhere that on the brink of life and death what would bring you the comfort you needed? Then you remembered, the beach you used to go to with all the girls. Before when life was giving and not cruel you'd all go and spend the day sunbathing, swimming and playing games. It was a place of comfort and washed up old memories, you automatically drove towards there.
You sat in the car staring at the  water in front of you, the air was thick and you found it hard to breath. You took your sweater off now that their was no prying, the heat kissed your skin as you took in the damage you had cause to your body. You looked around to see if there was another person around.No one. Opening your car door you smelt the salt air around you, how you'd miss this but the ocean was beckoning you now for a different reason and you was so ready to go. The sky was black with the stars shining like they knew you would be joining them, welcoming you as their new friend. You went to put your car keys in your pocket when you felt the familiar metal you had shoved there when you where in the bathroom with Lou. How could you forget? You pulled it out and looked at it, old friend you have been dear but for now perhaps in a new life we'll meet again, now I've made a new friend that is going to suffocate me in the most glorious way. You dropped the blade and moved towards the large expanse of water, the waves where crashing against the shore, pulling  you further in. Like a siren praying on a drunken sailor you kept going, your shoes filled up and every step got heavier as the water hugged you, the scars on your arms burned, sound muffled by water, tears rolled down your cheeks as for once you felt peace overcoming you.

The water was up to your neck and you looked up to see the moon, the glow welcomed you. The moon was soothing you telling you everything was going to be ok now. Waves started to crash into your face and drag you down, you let it. What you didn't hear was the shouts and screams of Lou and Debbie, they'd managed to track you. Lou hurried to take her jacket off as Debbie called an ambulance, the blonde moved as quick as she could as she watched your figure get swallowed by the water. Tears invaded her eyes as she dived to get you, luckily the moon provided enough light to see you, she grabbed you by your arm and pulled you up. You both gasped as you snapped out of the haze you where in. You coughed up water as Lou dragged you to shore, she was whispering that you where ok and that you was safe, that they where never going to leave you again. Lies. You thought.
Laying you on the damp sand Debbie rushed up to you both trying to wrap her coat around you, She gave Lou a hug as you tried to sit up.
Lou's hand clamped you down 'No Y/N, just stop. Please just do as I tell you to.' She sobbed, you just looked up at the moon again how different it felt now, like it was teasing you. You felt a pair of warm hands on your face and looked to see Debbie, she was crying and stuttering about how sorry she was. You managed to find the energy to push her away from you and sit up, you shakily wiped your face and pushed your damp hair out of your eyes. Only now could you feel how cold you where and wrapped her coat around you even more. 'How long will the ambulance be?' Lou whispered, 'They said about 10 minutes, it should be here soon.' Debbie replied in a flat voice, you didn't want to look up scared of what you'd face. Quietly you said 'I don't need one, they won't do anything, they never-' you cut yourself off as you didn't want to tell them anything else, besides they already knew. 'It's just a precaution sweetheart, we just want to get you checked out.' Lou's voice was laced with love and concern and for the first time, it killed you. You had the courage to look up, they where both sat arms around each other looking at you, the guilt was pouring out of them and all you could do was look back down again.
'Y/N, please understand we never wanted to shut you out or make you feel like you didn't have anyone. We got so wrapped up in our lives we didn't think...no we didn't want to know or face the truth of what was going on with you. We all love you so much and I'm begging you to forgive us.' Debbie cried out as you felt her get nearer to you,  you couldn't help the sob that left your throat as the anger spilled out. You quickly stood up, both women startled and got up as well. 'Y/N Love, please stay calm and sit down. You're not ok and we just want to help you.' Lou's voice was desperate and you stared at them both with a hurt expression. 'So now your asking for forgiveness after forgetting about me for a year? For once let me be selfish and do what I want to do. I don't want to do this anymore, I tried so hard with you all today joining in on all your happy stories, noticing all the hidden glances and small talk between you all. It made me feel like it was all my fault, that I'd done something and I was the last to know. You have no right, neither of you to now try be my friend when you left me to rot.' You spat as you walked slowly to your car, just wanting to get out of there, you felt a pair of hands wrap around your waist as you started to kick and scream, all the pent up emotions spewing out of you. Lou managed to get you on the ground and pinned you down with you arms trapped under her, she wasn't putting all her weight on you just enough so she could try talk to you without being hit in the face. 'Y/N! Listen to me now, come on sweetheart let it out. We've been idiots and what we've done is unforgivable but we aren't going anywhere, so you better get that in your head and please try and settle down.' Lou grabbed you face so you could look at her, you heard the familiar sound of sirens as Debbie went to flag them down. The blonde was just staring at you with tears falling down her cheeks, 'why?'you said so quietly 'why wasn't I good enough for you or Debbie, I thought... I thought we where in this together.' Lou went white as a sheet when she saw the heart break on your face, she went to go speak but the ambulance crew came over and started asking you questions.
She'd do anything to show how much she loves you.

Ok, so the next chapter will be more light i promise. I know these two have been a little bit more darker that usual and I will get back to writing more lighter content as well. I hope you all like it.
Be kind 💜