Need You (ShinDeku)

Ch. 84 - Stressful

A/N: I'm late, this is not how I expected this chapter to go, uhhhh, sorry? It's long, at least.

Trigger warning:
Panic attack? Involving an inability to breathe for a while, and lots of guilt. Starring the infamous: 'I've been overthinking and stressing way too much and I made one little mistake so now my overwhelmed brain thinks I've messed everything up irreparably and my life is over'. The places where it starts and ends will be noted with a warning (⚠️). As always, take care of yourself and...

Have fun reading!

Midoriya POV

When we eventually left to go look for the cats it was after I accidentally took a 20 minute nap on Hitoshi's chest, falling asleep to my silent worry over his crying and the quiet, warm thump of his heartbeat. He said nothing of it and I figured just being near him seemed to be the best way to make him feel better.

We went to the tree first, and the cats weren't there. Just as we had decided which direction to head in to continue looking, Hitoshi spotted them rounding the corner of our dorm building straight towards us. The older cat carried the kitten over and we watched as she walked straight up to us.

She set the kitten down and sat proudly next to it, and Hitoshi immediately went down to sit on the ground in front of them. We spend some time feeding them— we had thought ahead and actually brought water this time.

Hitoshi practically malfunctions when the kitten finishes its meal and wanders over to his lap to take its next nap. It's an adorable sight.

The big, soft momma cat comes to me upon realizing that Hitoshi is busy, and I realize how friendly both of these cats are. Aren't cats usually... a little more standoffish?

I scratch behind her ears and her green eyes are obscured as she closes them, purring quietly. Well, if attention is what you want I can give it to you. I wish it was that easy to win Hitoshi over.

"What am I going to do?" I whisper quietly to the cat, and we stare at each other. I've gotta find ways to make Hitoshi like me more, just flirting isn't gonna cut it. Also, I don't really know how to flirt.

I know Hitoshi really wants me to recover, so I have to get better and get back on track with training. Then we can spar like he wanted. Would he think it was attractive if I beat him in a training match? I pet the ragdoll absentmindedly, trying not to think of the attractiveness level of Hitoshi pinning me during a spar, breaths heavy from exertion, muscles straining from adrenaline and the effort to keep me down. Well, I mentally shook my head to clear the images, maybe I just focus on getting better first. And I can't push myself too much, he doesn't like when I do that. I held back a groan. This is ridiculous. I have to make him happy by taking care of myself.

Then, what about other likes and dislikes? He likes coffee, and cats. He likes sleep, right? But he has insomnia. He wants to be a hero, and looks up to Shota. These points aren't really helping me figure out how to get him to like me. He has access to all the things he likes right now, maybe besides good sleep, but I can't fix insomnia.

At that thought I'm reminded of lunchtime today, when he was hit with that quirk. He did tell me not to worry about it and to just sleep tonight, but I couldn't help but worry. What if something happened? Even if he wanted me to sleep he would appreciate if I was there in case something went wrong, right? Or would he just be more upset that I stayed up? I steal a glance over at Hitoshi. He doesn't have to know that I stayed up. I'll just do it in case something happens.

My mind was wondering again. I still haven't come up with any ways to make Hitoshi like me. I stole another glance at him, and he was completely absorbed in petting the kitten. Knowing and accepting how absolutely clueless I was at this, I took out my phone and opened up a search engine, typing with one hand.