Pencils & Polaroids

24: wtf moments

Living through Samantha Welch's "special news" was more triggering than listening to it in class. It is triggering because (a) anything about love makes me sick these days. My 24/7 grumpy face, venom-dipped comebacks, and inborn awkwardness spoil every chance of love even mildly approaching me. (b) It's not the news about Sam being in love and making things official to the world, it's the one who she's breaking this news with that has me jittery and irked. And (c) it doesn't really help that Grayson Finley is a romantic. 

Allow me to scene-guide on whatever I'm looking at right now: We're in the basketball field of the Cross Academy—blue and red synthetic flooring making the court look like a spotlight under the overcast sky of Santa Monica. Basketball players are huddled around the boundary of the court with pom-poms and Iphones pointing to the it-couple. The it-couple, are staged in the center of the court—Grayson on one knee and Sam with teary eyes. 

She takes the red rose and a bouquet of chocolates he's handing out to her with soft chuckles that's making the entire audience swoon. Behind Grayson, his teammates hold out pluck cards that each read one word and when put together form the sentence: 𝐒𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐚 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐡, 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐁𝐞 𝐌𝐲 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝? (Mind you, the punctuations are individual pluck cards so brownie points to Finley for getting his Grammar right. Except, I do find the capitalizing of every word a bit weird). 

Sam had already predicted the proposal. Not sure if she'd gaged it would be this fancy, but she'd told me in class that she was going to say yes. And just like that, she nods. The cheering grows ten folds more as Grayson launches upwards and picks her up in his arms and twirls her until I become dizzy. 

I'm not whistling like the rest of the people around the court but I am smiling (from my heart) as he lowers her and gives her the most adorable kiss that is laced with half shyness and half relief. It's not every day that I see my best friend falling for a guy who falls harder for her in the end. Well, technically, this is the beginning, but at least the hard part's over. 

With folded hands, I take steps backward from the court to the parking lot. With that nod, my best friend sealed two deals. She gave half of my rights to her new boyfriend. That meant, she'd no longer ride with me, her seat in the cafeteria will permanently be beside him, she's going to ditch our weekend sleepovers to spend more time with him, I'd have to settle for lesser call time, and maybe accept the fact that if I was feeling lonely with her, I should expect to feel everything ten times worse now that she's not going to be around me all the time. 

I get a feeling of how pathetic I'd been as a friend. I also get a newfound respect for her having put up with me and my shit for such a long span of five years. And then the insecurity hits me as I wonder if that one nod is going to put so much distance between us that we might never find our way back to each other again. 

"What are you on, bro?" 

I stop before opening the door of my car and give Sadie a confused stare. 

With hands slid inside the pockets of her uniform skirt, she closes the gap between us. "Weed? Coke? Meth?" 

"Harper, I really hope you have a valid point to make with this conversation or you'll prove my alleged theory of being very dumb." 

She sighs, but she walks closer. "You make it impossible to have a normal conversation." 

And now I scoff. "Since when is asking what drug I'm on a normal conversation starter?" 

"Fine, you win." She shrugs like she's starting to cease fire. 

Normally, I would be thrilled if Sadie Harper let me win something by giving up. But this time, it was fishy because she initiated the talk with no fault of my own. I don't ask her what she wants. I'm pretty sure my intense frown did it for me.