Do I qualify as crazy?

My Demon

My demon told me to leave
Even though I wanted to stay
I wanted to fall in love
But she warned me,
there would be a price to pay.
She screamed I would get hurt
Even though it was a risk I wanted to take, 
I just wanted to feel love
but she wouldn't support me,
if that was the decision I made.

I dreamed of being successful
But she injected fear of failure into my brain
I told her it would be a lesson l had to learn 
But the fear has consumed me,
the fear stayed.

I wished to enjoy my reflection
But she always pointed out the flaws staring back my way
I wanted to understand my true self
But her venom pulsed through my veins.

I longed to trust, just once more
But she shouted "no, people will always betray"
I once let my walls come tumbling down
But she did not accept, 
she built the walls up the same. 

My demon told me I will never change
But being a better me, was all I craved
I ached to not feel so alone
But she reassured me,
it's safer this way.

Whilst others did not understand or accept me
She let me in with open arms
Whilst I knew I could not be truly happy like this
I knew she would keep me from harm. 

At least that's what I wanted to believe.

My demon is holding me back
She doesn't want me to move forward
I want her to be my friend, 
but with her here I feel so cornered. 

I wanted to feel comfortable whilst being sober
But she told me nothing matters when you are slaughtered
With drink I find fake confidence
When sober I just feel awkward. 

My demon whispers that I am complicated
But I hope to find someone who will understand
That behind the straight faced woman, 
is a girl who used to be punished with a backhand. 
Behind the detached unemotional woman, 
is a girl who saved herself by living in a dreamland. 

I wish she would allow me to help her be ok
But she is so scared of the truth,
Which is why she always runs away.
she really is so gentle, 
she uses anger as protection, 
sometimes she comes across as cold,
i promise, she is just hiding her affection.

I'm going to save my demon, 
she is a part of me.
I'll help her see the beauty of life,
through my eyes she'll see. 

The demon that is taking over,
the demon is me.