Do I qualify as crazy?

Middle child

Every tear has it's own chemical make-up 

And I wish we could go back so I could nurse your every tear

I just want you to know even though sometimes you are silent, I hear

You cried tears of pain and you wanted a hug 

And I said no, because together we experienced hurt intertwining with love

I didn't want to hurt you; and so I couldn't love

I wanted to help you,  so desperately I did

But I couldn't help you

I was afraid of even touching your skin

I understood your pain because I was in the same pain you was in

How can pain comfort pain?

It's no excuse; for a brief moment I let him win

Every tear has it's own chemical make-up 

Our make-up designed in the very same place; 

Both drawing on our smiles because our tears is something people do not want to face

I too was one of the people, who for a while could not look you in the face

I tried not not to love you so I didn't hurt you so much 

That eventually I became the cause of your tears

What a painful truth to clutch 

And sometimes I still saw you as the young  boy who got broken 

It brought to life my fears, my fears from early years

I was acting out how he made me feel and I called you nasty names 

And just like I ignored my own; I ignored your tears

I couldn't help you as a little boy; that drove me insane 

The abused can become abusive 

He will win if we drown in shame and self-blame

When you were eight, I didn't hug you when you cried

I was his actor and I only behaved how I had been trained

Sometimes I still see that little boy, who has layered himself as a handsome man 

Striving and fighting to be all he can; 

I promise I will capture every tear in my hand 

I will analyse the tears chemicals and make up until I fully understand 

I want to heal and I can't wait to watch you heal too;

This is a sorry that I couldn't help you

I think breaking us was his motive, let's destroy his plan

From this day forth I am here for you;

and all the dreams we have, let's breathe them to life and make them come true 

I am forgiving myself for not being able to save you 

Please forgive yourself, for not being able to save me too.