Chapter 18

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  We stay in his bed for hours. Occasionally he gets up to get me water. He continued to help me drink long after I stopped needing it, and I made no move to stop him. I'd never admit it out loud, but I've started enjoying the sparks his touch provides. The feeling of him rubbing circles on my back is delightful and him helping me feels so intimate.
Now we're just laying down together. Neither of us had said much to the other. I noticed his want for me though. I can see the conflict in his eyes and him starting and stopping occasionally. I've just been pretending not to see him reaching for me and withdrawing before making contact. As good as the sparks feel I don't know if I'd want to be on his arms.
I doubt I'll ever get the image of him leering over as I struggled in this same bed out of my head. It doesn't help that I have a very similar picture in my head from earlier today. He may not have hurt me today, but I'm sure he'd thought of it. Considering our past, I have no doubt that straddling me with both of my wrists pinned together in his hand did something to him. I'm grateful he showed no sign of it though.
Under different circumstances, it wouldn't have been a bad site. If you remove all context history provides then the moment could have been enjoyable. Then it would just be a handsome man straddling me; other than the knife. Why am I thinking about this?
Suddenly Apex shoots up next to me. He's standing on the other side of the bed with I panicked look on his face.
"Diana you need to calm down. Oh God, what do I do", he says the last part more to himself than me.
"What are you talking about?", I ask. He ignores my questioning and starts pacing.
"I should have of known this was coming. What do I do?", as he paces, I start to feel pain in my lower abdomen. I scream in shock more than anything. It's like the worst period pain ever.
"Apex what's happening!", he clearly seems to know what's going on. He returns to my side kneeling on the mattress. Another wave of pain hits me as he runs his hands through his hair in stress.
"You're in heat", he says, "it's different for humans because you don't have the same instincts as us. Your body is trying to convince you in other ways. Oh my God, this is all my fault, I should have found I way to save you without marking you". He says all of this with a frantic look in his eyes.
"What are you talking about", I exclaim as the pain worsens still, "just fix it". I have no idea what's going on, but he seems to so maybe if I'm lucky he'll have a cure too.
"I can't do that!", he shouts sounding more panicked than before. He looks like he's going to start crying.
"Please Apex", I'm begging at this point, "why are you always hurting me?". He looks devastated by my words.
"I'm trying not to", he says with a broken sounding voice.
"Please help me", by now the pain has gotten so bad and paired with my injured throat my voice is coming out in a whisper.
Despite my pain Apex moves slowly. He lays beside me closer than before. His body presses against mine. Tentatively he winds one of his arms around me and his hand finds its way tangled in my hair.
Carefully he turns me on my side to face him. His face is only inches from mine. Is he going to kiss me? I close my eyes as he draws nearer.
I feel his lips on my forehead again. He starts trailing soft kisses down my cheek and towards my neck. When he finds his way to that spot where he once bit me I gasp, and my eyes fly open. All my pain is momentarily forgotten as my hands subconsciously tangle in his hair and pull him closer to me. He nibbles and licks at the sensitive skin. I can't stop the moans escaping me or the way my back is arching me into him. I already know I'm going do have a hickey.
He starts to move away from that spot instead opting to leave more marks in the surrounding area. Its feels blissful. Gradually the pain starts to rise again.
"Apex it hurts", I whimper. He pulls away enough for me to look him in the face. He looks so sad.
"I can't give you more", he says, "tomorrow everything you're feeling right now is going to disappear. If I do much more, I'm sure you'll be crushed in the morning".
"Apex please", I say, "it hurts so much". I don't even know what it is that I'm asking for, I just want the pain to go away. I know he sees this. Why is he making me suffer?
He moves on top of me. His legs hold him up either side of my hips. He lowers his face before pressing his lips to mine. He's so soft and gentle. I respond to him immediately. The pain lessens but doesn't disappear completely. He bites lightly at my bottom lip and I can't help moaning his name.
He pulls back enough to remove his shirt. I'm so used to seeing him in long-sleeved shirts that I can't help taking in an eyeful of him. I can't help feeling kind of excited with what I see. I lift my hands to trace his muscles. He tilts his head back and closes his eyes. As nice as his abs are, they aren't the only thing catching my attention.
I lift my head to press my lips to a particularly large scar on his chest. He moans a bit at my actions. I trail my lips down a little further to the next one. My hands stop their exploration of his chest to help me turn him over to where I'm on top of him.
I keep going lower and lower finding more scars as I go. I could listen to the sounds he's making forever. I'm at the last one and decide to start licking and sucking at it. I decide to leave a little mark on him as he did me.
"Diana stop", he says I turn my focus from what I'm going and pull away. I don't know how, but I hadn't noticed he'd opened his eyes. He sits up and pushes me back a little.
"I know that I've been awful to you in the past, but I won't take advantage of you like this", looking down I finally realize where exactly I'd had my lips. I'd been hardly an inch above the low waistband of his pants. I can't help blushing at this.
Before I can dwell on my embarrassment I get hit with more pain. It hurts so bad that I collapse forward onto Apex. Despite my injury, I scream again from the pain. I'm crying now and my breath is coming out in pants.
Apex lowers his head to my ear and whispers, "I love you and hope you can forgive me". After saying this he tugs off my shirt. His hands find the curve of my waist. He leans down, putting his lips to the skin above my bra. The pain starts to fade again.
He unclips my bra with more ease than if I had done it myself. I melt against him.
He starts kissing down my abdomen and toward the waist band of my shorts. He lowers them along with my panties. He pauses and stares a bit before looking back to my face.
"I'm sorry love", he says before dipping his face to between my legs.

 "I'm sorry love", he says before dipping his face to between my legs

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