The Rain

Chapter 1

Nothing can be said about my family that hasn't already been said by any other teen on this planet. I can only wish that they would turn around and say that I am adopted, instead they call me a mistake and I take it. That is where the fundamental problems lie, there is nothing normal with my family. We never seem to get along, a freckled girl like me knows that after a day or two something will be stirred up and life will become normal with all kinds of typical family drama. Except I know that maybe 'family' is just an idolised word that doesn't hold any significance in the modern world. Hey who needs a family when you have premium Spotify and the local park down the street, which has become the blissful safe haven that many teenagers like me could only dream of.

After a long week of bad weather, the rain had eased off and the fog was clearing. This was when I knew something bad was about to happen, the rain for me has always symbolised the number of days of peace, no frying pans being thrown, or missing glasses from the cupboard. Something way out of my control was about to happen, and there is no way of knowing what the outcome is going to be. If the rain is anything to go by I'm in for one of the worst nights of my life.

The first indication that the sunny day was going to be ruined was having a family meeting around the table just after the dinner plates had been washed up in silence, surrounded by what could only be described as an aura of resentment. A lot of the time these meetings were pointless, a way of filling the void of an already failing family and nothing really got resolved. Figuring it is the way my mother is grasping to whatever she has left of this toxic family, but then takes it upon herself to request these chit chat sessions to have a sense of normalcy. Today wasn't the case, everything about this was very much forced. Now with a cup of tea shoved in front of me and my father, the family get together could start. This was the second indication, my father was never one to willingly sit at the table, he always loitered - never one to sit still. My lip was starting to get sweaty, what is to come. Something bad. Possibly about me? Think! What have you messed up this time?

Clarity showed through a lack of empathy from both parties, nothing but neutral faces. I've zoned out now. The news hit me hard, but after all, it was expected. Divorce. The unusual amount of arguing has now become normal, so normal that it calls for a divorce. I thought parents just went through a rough patch, so maybe it's me. I could be causing all this, my mother certainly doesn't need this teenage drama in her life. I couldn't give a shit about my father, but I would do anything for my mother as much as I regret to admit it.

 "Say something." I hear, now coming back to my senses. All this was a long time coming, but nothing could prepare me for today. She wasn't a kind-hearted mother like the rest of them, her ways of being a supportive parent didn't come naturally to her- she mostly had a massive log stuck up her ass- this meant that I had to act a certain ladylike feeble way around her. Although this didn't mean I didn't love her.

My father's head nodded in agreement with my mother's words, he, on the other hand, was hard-working, take no shit kind of guy. The two of them used to get on like a house on fire, but as always only time allows fire to consumes all and then continues on its path. He takes away my oxygen, nothing I can do makes me hate him any less.

There was nothing I could say now, not to either of them. I picture myself saying "Ya know what! screw you all, you don't give a shit about me. I was a simple pawn in your relationship, a tool to be used. Well, guess what, I'm not a tool anymore and I can't be used. My life is unstable because of you, half of the time I don't whether I am coming or going." I know I wouldn't have had the balls to do that, the feelings I will forever feel towards my family will be bottled up- never to be spoken of. All though to be fair to me, it was quite nice to let go of all these feelings. Unleash everything I have ever felt, experience a side to me I have never seen before.

Everything was quiet now, quiet enough to hear what isn't being spoken. Then I realise; this meeting wasn't anything to do with them separating because they have basically been living apart for the past 5 years. This was to do with me, or who would get stuck with me. None of them were jumping at the chance to have me in their lives, I see it so clearly now. I'm no use to them, now that the games have finally come to an end. It's so obvious now that they don't want me to be their child just as bad as I don't want them to be my parents.

I stand, the silence vanishes through the scraping of the chair. The house not really feeling like a home anymore, my legs doing an automatic movement to the door. My mind not nearly as clear as it needs to be to make such a large decision, so I will take this opportunity to make it so. I'm never one to make a scene, lord knows it would only take one glance at my mothers piercing eyes to stop me during a ramble at worst, so this must come as quite a surprise to her. 

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LOL 2020 update, I'm still here folks...

During the time I wrote this and rewrote it I went to see Georgie live, it was amazing.

Vote, comment( i'd love to know if you have seen him or if you even want to)

Stay Lucky

Abi.

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