Ratbags and Scallywags [bxb]

Chapter 25

Other than a stiff neck, I slept fine last night.

Charlie must've woken at some point during the night because when I woke up this morning, my hearing aid was put safely on a bedside table and I was under the cover with a pillow beneath my head. We weren't cuddling anymore by then, but I rolled up against him and quickly changed that. Our walk to school was slow and clumsy, and I felt gross putting back on my used uniform.

I begged Charlie to tell someone what happened. Even me. He only grumbled replies, then starting picking up sticks to fling at people's fences.

Tom let us know during Home Room that the gym hall would be off limits while they brought in some industrial shelves this week. It'd be dangerous and we weren't to go inside. Anyone who had indoor PE activities scheduled would be doing it out on the fields instead. Besides that, he let us chat amongst ourselves until the bell rang for our first classes.

Our Home Room class was in the art facility, so we sat on long benches that fit three people. Trey and Ikeisha sat with me near the back while Charlie and his friends sat at the front. They were noisy and bantered back and forth with Uncle, but he seemed to be enjoying their energy and conversation. It was like Charlie had miraculously returned back to his normal self.

The person he was before we grew close. A knot formed in my belly at the thought of him no longer knowing or acknowledging me. Somehow it seemed like I liked him a lot more than he liked me. He'd turned far gentler and more serious since we'd grown closer. Always taking care of me, always fussing over me. What if that was no longer going to be the case?

It was something I desperately wanted to talk to Trey and Keish about; to get this off my chest. But I hadn't told them about me yet. And how would she even respond? It's not like I've been holding this secret for very long so she wouldn't get mad about that part. But maybe she'd be angry because she trusted me with her secret, and I betrayed her. But could I help it that Charlie's gay? That I'm a guy?

That I like him too?

Since I sat in the middle of Trey and Keish, I shuffled around in my chair to face her and watched as she stared at me with curiosity. She looked extra pretty today. Her skin was especially glowing and clear, and she put on gold jewelry that she always told teachers are cultural despite the fact they were from two-dollar chain stores. She was even wearing a freebie necklace I won online.

The thought made me chuckle a bit. When she raised her brow, the reality hit me again. I had to tell her the truth. It was better to talk to her first before telling Trey and the guys because it was something that she might genuinely respond badly to. Our friendship wasn't something I could just play around with lightly.

She meant the world to me.

I signed, "I have to tell you something."

She nodded. "Sup?" she asked.

"Secret. I like someone."

Her eyes widened while an excited smile spread across her face. She leaned past me and looked straight at Trey, but even as I quickly looked back, his head was buried in his arms and he was staring directly at the three in front of us. From where I sat, I could see him glaring at somebody sitting ahead of us.

I followed his gaze and of course, it was none other than Ben Brown. Hopefully Trey would find some resolve around whatever this situation was. It seemed stressful. I turned back to Ikeisha and crossed my arms repeatedly in the air. I repeated, "Secret. Talk privately at break."

"No, now!" she signed back with heavy, exaggerated movements. She looked so excited.

She was so excited for me; I didn't want to tell her the truth. How could I? I wasn't often she got feelings for people, but when she did, it was usually genuine. Although she would always keep them to herself and never once pursued a relationship. She was far too independent and invested in me and our friend group to bother with outsiders. That's what made this so much harder.