𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐒𝐢𝐧 (𝟏𝟖+)

𝟐𝟐 || 𝐁𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬

"Even through we never said it to each other ... We knew. So it goes"

   
                                           ♣️

My mom once told me that the art of healing lies in how many times you can stop yourself from crying when you really want to. I was young and pure, I truly believed these words.

But not anymore.

Now I know...It's how hard you can cry and scream and still know that you have to be okay in the morning.

I managed to improve this over the years.

After I lost her after Jacob betrayed me.... after Alexander.

I can't forgive myself for letting him get close to me, closer than just having my body. Without realizing it, I took down my walls for him- with every kiss, every hug, every conversation, and every god damn smile.

It's just bad timing. I met him at the wrong time.

And I'll have to pay the price for that.

"Good morning Amera, I was just telling Alexander how unusual it's for you to be late for breakfast."

I settled quietly in my usual place, giving my last strength to look at Stephanie with a kind look and put a forced smile on my face. I know I probably look awful, my hair is messy and I have bags under my eyes from all the crying and no sleeping, but somehow I don't care.

"I had trouble falling asleep'' I said with a low voice "Nightmares" my eyes switched to Alexander for a split second before looking again at Stephanie, who looked happier than ever this morning while Alexander avoided my presence.

So he did fuck her last night.

I gripped the fork in my hand tightly, just at the thought of Alexander's naked body, thrusting into Stephanie while she's moaning his name. I couldn't get that fucking sight out of my mind all night. Every time I closed my eyes I saw them.

'' Lead the way, my wife ''

His words are stuck in my mind. I'm going insane.

I feel betrayed, used, hurt by someone who wasn't even mine. Alexander has every right to do whatever he wants with his wife. It's signed on paper with their signatures.

After all, she is Mrs. Anderson and I'm no one.

I tried to hold back my tears and anger, I tried to distract myself from those thoughts that have haunted me since last night, but it's hard when they're both at the same table in front of me.

"Since I have free time, and Ava too, we decided to take Emma around town, go to the movies or something" I shrugged, putting some of the pancakes in my mouth. "We haven't decided yet."

Stephanie nodded in agreement "Sounds great, thank you for spending time with her, Emma really likes you"

I shook my head, looking down at my plate, tempted to knock her teeth out of her mouth. "No problem, I like spending time with Emma." I tried to use my kindest voice but failed.

"Yes, but you have to spend time with our maid, for which I truly apologize."

Alexander turned his head sharply to his wife, widening his eyes in complete shock before turning his gaze to me, but I was too busy staring at Stephanie blankly.