dreamland ;; hirako shinji

ni {に}

Shinji laid in his futon and stared up at the ceiling, hands behind his head. After two hundred years, she just walked right into his quarters. It wasn't like he'd thought about her every day, but he did wonder how she was from time to time.

She was right. He should've gone to see her. He should've told her the second he applied to be a Shinigami. But he didn't. He wasn't without reason, however. It was simple. He wanted to protect her.

If she'd have known, she would've tried to come with him. She probably would've made an incredible Shinigami, her powers far surpassed his own when they were young, but Shinji couldn't bear the thought of her at the front lines, risking her life. She'd done that their entire youth, protecting him from all of the town folk that tried to beat him to a pulp. Becoming a Shinigami was how he wanted to repay his debt, but he'd forgotten about her along the way.

He sighed and sat up. He knew deep down that these were all just excuses. If he truly wanted to protect her, he should've gone back to see her. Maybe even brought her back with him. But now it was too late. She was here, at the side of the one man Shinji trusted least in all of Soul Society.

"I gotta clear my head," he said to himself, grabbing his kosode and tying it around him loosely. He slipped on his sandals and stepped outside.

The night air was cool. The moon shone down and illuminated the path Shinji walked along. He wandered aimlessly throughout the many squad courtyards until he sensed a familiar reitsu.

"Ah, Shinji! That you?" called the dusty blond captain of the Twelfth squad.

"Good evening, Urahara-kun. You're up late," Shinji replied, stepping toward his friend, who was seated on the deck of his squad's living area, feet dangling down through the railing.

"You know I don't have the healthiest sleeping habits," he laughed sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "But you usually do, what's on your mind?"

Shinji leaned his back against the deck, staring into the garden of assorted flowers before him. "Past regret, it's eatin' me alive."

"Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do that will change the past, but we can let it change our future," Urahara offered.

"I'm not sure there's much I can do about the future either," Shinji replied, chewing on his lip.

"Well in that case, here." Urahara pulled a bottle of sake and two cups from the pockets of his shitagi. He poured the sake and handed Shinji a glass.

"This is why they promoted ya to Captain, yer always prepared," Shinji said, sipping from his cup.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Shinji sighed and fixed his eyes on his glass of sake. "I saw my first love again today."

"You call everyone your first love."

Shinji grinned. "That's true. But this time I'm serious."

"Why is that a bad thing?"

"She's here in Seireitei. With Aizen."

"Ah." Urahara poured more sake in Shinji's cup. "That is a predicament."

"I think it'd sting a bit less if it'd been anyone else. But Aizen? Seriously? I get that he's an attractive man, I thought so too when I met 'im, but how's she stayed with him long enough to move here? He's so cold, and has such a darkness to him."

"Love does funny things to people, Hirako. You know that. They go blind and ignore better judgement."

Shinji's heart panged at the word love. "God, I missed her. I wouldn't have become a Shinigami if it wasn't for her. I wanted to repay my debts, for all the times she saved me as a kid."