like you do | leah clearwater

dear diary

Dear Diary,

Wow it's been a long time since I bothered to use this thing. I mean geez, mom was really off base when she thought I could use it. I guess 12 year old me didn't see the benefits of having a private confidant who wouldn't spill the beans to anyone. And honestly...shit that's all I need right now. As much I'd like to talk to Jake, Quil or Embry...they'd never get it. I'd rather throw myself off a cliff than even try to tell Charlie, and Bella...well...we're still not talking.

Maybe I could talk to my mom. Maybe. It's a long shot she'd even understand AND she'd probably tell Charlie, so that's a no go too. God I just wish I could tell her. It's not fair. At all. Why me? You know, why did I have to fall in love with her? And why did she have to fall in love with Sam? Fucking Sam. He was always a dick, I never liked him.

Okay maybe that's a lie too. Fuck I just wish I could blame him and not feel so bad about it. I wouldn't blame her. I mean...it's not like you choose who you fall in love with. Of course I got to be the one who learned that the hard way. It's so stupid. I mean, what else can I do? If I tell Leah I'm in love with her, there's no doubt I'll lose her-and she'll probably tell everyone. No, Leah wouldn't. I don't think so. I hope not.

What am I saying? Of course she wouldn't. But she'd never talk to me again. And honestly, that's probably worse. None of this is made any better by Bella and fucking Edward. He's here all the time, like Jesus man get a life. At least I have the excuse of life long friendship with Leah, what does he have? He's so weird. He never talks, especially not lately. He's been so on edge since our birthday. Bella too, she's so anxious. It's starting to rub off on me, that's the last thing I need.

It's weird though. I saw him pull up after school today. Bella's truck is here now but neither of them are. Maybe they're off fucking in the woods or something. God I just grossed myself out. Maybe I'll go bother Jake, since Leah has to work today. I bet he's still fixing that car. Piece of junk, if you ask me. Dunno why Billy let him buy that thing, it'll get stuck in the snow guaranteed. Also Embry's been acting a little weird. There's a flu or something going around so I think maybe he's starting to get sick.

Who knows. Things just feel so weird right now. I hope that means something interesting is about to happen. Either way, I hope dad lifts all of Bella's dumb rules soon. If she won't go to Jacksonville the least she could do is get out of the house and stop bringing her weird boyfriend around everyday.

This was dumb. I'll probably forget about this thing for another 6 years. Oh well.

—————

Juliet bit her nails anxiously. She sat on the porch steps, watching Charlie organizing the search. Other cops, as well as Billy Black and Harry Clearwater had arrived. Then, much to her own surprise, she spotted Jared, Paul and Sam. The must've come with Harry and Billy, but Juliet couldn't figure out why. Before she realized what she was doing, she was on her feet and moving towards them.

"Heads up." Paul mumbled. Jared stepped away from the pair, towards Juliet.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, trying and failing to sound angry. If it had been Sam who stepped forward, she wouldn't have failed.

"We're just here to help." He said, resting a hand on her arm. "Billy called and asked if we could, since he and Harry wanted to be here for your dad. That's it."

"Just..." Juliet sucked in a breath. She knew they'd need all the help they could get, and it was getting darker by the second. There wasn't any time to argue or start a fight. "Find her. For Charlie." Jared nodded.

"Boys, come here." Juliet watched them walk over to where Billy, Charlie and Harry were, missing the glance Sam had thrown her way. Soon enough, they'd split off into the forest and it became a waiting game.

—————

The sky was pitch black at the first sign of movement from the trees. Jared and Paul had since returned with nothing, and were nearly about to go back out. Others had come by and gone out a few times, as well as more people coming to join the search. Dr. Gerandy from the hospital had also come out to be on stand-by for when she was found. According to him, Dr. Cullen, and his whole family, had up and left. Vanished. This coupled with Juliet having last seen Bella with Edward had put Charlie even more on edge than he already was.

"I've got her!" Sam's voice yelled from the trees. A few seconds later, he emerged with Bella in his arms. She was wet and shivering, but alive-and seemingly unharmed. Everyone jumped up at the same time, Charlie being the first to get to them. Juliet stood from where she'd been sitting on the hood of Charlie's car, Paul and Jared watching from either side of her.

"Is she hurt?" Charlie hurried. "What happened?"

"No I don't think she's hurt." Sam shook his head. "She just kept saying he's gone." Charlie took Bella from Sam, and moved her inside. Dr. Gerandy, and a few others followed, Sam included. After a few minutes, Sam, Harry and Billy left the house. Jared went to help Billy into Harry's truck, and Paul wandered after him as Sam approached Juliet. "Charlie's making calls now, she'll be fine." Juliet's jaw tightened, and she sighed.

"Thank you." Her voice was tight. "I know Charlie appreciates it."

"And you?" Sam couldn't help himself.

"I'm not the concern here." Juliet's arms were tight across her body. Everything about her screamed unfriendly. But that didn't stop Sam.

"I mean, she is your sister-"

"Stop Sam." Juliet took a breath, not wanting to get to angry. "All this is is me thanking your for finding my sister. It's not an invitation back into my life." She pushed past him, hurrying inside. A few volunteers were still clearing out, so she thanked them and watched them out before shutting the door. Bella was on the couch, wrapped in blankets and seemingly asleep. Charlie was in the kitchen, making whispered phone calls. She poked her head, giving her dad a wave before going upstairs. Her room was cold, as she accidentally left the window cracked. She shoved it closed and hurried to get ready for bed, sinking beneath four layers of thick blankets, despite it only being late September.

—————

Dear Diary,

Funny, how I thought I'd never touch this again. Let's see...if I'm counting my tally marks correctly, and I hope I am, last night was night 123 of whatever the fuck is going on with Bella. I don't understand why Charlie won't fucking do something. Yeah, I get that he doesn't want her to get sent away somewhere, but what if that's what she needs! I mean, Jesus she tried telling me that Edward and his family were vampires yesterday. Yeah, vampires. She's either crazy, or thinks I am.

She said that she'd gotten hurt or something at her birthday party at their place and Jasper, one of them I guess, tried to attack her? Because her blood is extra potent or some shit. I don't understand what the hell is happening to her anymore. And of course her care falls to me, Charlie's got work. Plus he's our dad, and I'm her twin. Yet again I was right, she shoulda gone back to Jacksonville when she had the chance. Luckily Charlie convinced her to go out with a friend last night, Jessica. They went to some movie in Port Angeles, but that didn't seem to help at all.

Embry still won't answer my IMs. Here's betting he won't sit with us at lunch either. Jake's convinced Sam's started a cult or a gang or something. Sam's a fucking idiot, he couldn't do that if he tried. Though I dunno why Embry suddenly started following him around like a lost puppy the way he had. Quil's said something about "being next". Fat chance. If Sam tries to take Jake or Quil, or whatever he does, I'll just tell my dad he did something and get him arrested. Probably not my best plan, but I could make it work. Or I could just yell at him.

Whatever works I guess, I gotta figure out what's going on. No one else seems to concerned though so maybe we're just overreacting. I hope we're just overreacting.