Chapter 5

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Triggers interspersed throughout...




Khushi made up a story about falling down in the party and hurting her cheek on the bar edge. Garima Ma made her a poultice and scolded her for wearing high heels when she wasn't used to them. The entire family pampered her for the whole day, teasing her about being clumsy and warning Karan to take better care of his wife. And Khushi put the incident away as a bad event that wouldn't be repeated.

Until it was.... Over and over again....

"Who was that guy you were talking to? Why were you smiling so much if he was just the electrician", a shove.

"This coffee is so cold. You know I hate it if its not piping hot", a spill leading to a burn.

"Who are you to tell me not to smoke? Watch your mouth", a quick burn with the cigarette.

"Where were you all day? Meeting with your lover, you bitch? I know you use the orphanage as an excuse to conduct your affairs", a slap.

Khushi got really good at using makeup, and coming up with creative excuses. She got quieter and quieter, hoping to avoid confrontations, because she could never tell what would trigger Karan. She saw Garima Ma and Vinita and Payal's eyes every time she made an excuse – The floor in the bathroom was so slippery..... I am so clumsy, I hit the closet door.....The tea spilled as I was pouring it – they knew what was going on, but everybody ignored it. The stress was getting to her, resulting in dark circles and weight loss. Sister Teresa complained when Khushi called her, that Khushi didn't visit her in the last 3 months, and she had to tell her how busy she was with the household and her duties. She had only talked to Lavanya once since her marriage, and when Lavanya asked if she could come visit, she made an excuse and then stopped calling her. Since she did not work outside the home any more, she didn't have any colleagues to worry about.

The last straw came when Khushi and Payal were working in the kitchen one day, making soup for Garima Ma. Akash came in and gave her a file to put away. Payal took the file and started walking away, when Manohar Chacha asked for a cup of tea. So Payal put the files down on the counter and had turned around to put the tea up. Khushi was transferring the soup from the big container into a bowl for Garima Ma and the soup spilled over on to the file. The soup was with turmeric, and the file was soaked and stained. Khushi and Payal stared at the file in horror, before Payal reacted quickly and used her saree to dab at the file, hoping to contain the damage.

But Akash had seen what happened. He took the file, looked at the papers inside, and noticed that they were unusable, the ink having dissolved in a few places and yellow stains everywhere. He screamed at Payal for not taking care of the file, and Khushi saw Payal retreating into herself. She'd always thought Payal was quiet and a little slow to react. Suddenly today she realized, that Payal was not quiet, she was beaten down. She was not slow to react, she took each step after deliberating it a million times, like an animal that had been trodden on many times, and was afraid to react instinctively. Was she turning into another Payal? Is this her future in this house?

"It was my fault, Akash bhaiyya. I was clumsy and dropped the soup on it", Khushi tried to turn his attention on herself, unable to watch Payal's stoic, quiet face and her desperate eyes.

Akash just looked at her, gave her a fulminating glare and walked out of the kitchen. Unfortunately for Khushi, Karan had just come home, and was witness to the entire drama. He was just standing there, and Khushi could see his anger increasing by the second.

"Control your clumsy wife, Karan. She just cost us a lot of time and effort on this deal. Or are you too wrapped up around her finger to put a leash on her?", Akash taunted.

Khushi's eyes widened as Karan took the bait, and walked up to her. The slap echoed around the house, throwing Khushi to the floor. Her instincts kicked in as she curled into a ball on the floor with her hands around her head, as Karan kicked and pummeled her, taking his rage out on her for the taunt he had to hear from his brother. Payal stood there, horror-struck, frozen against the far counter, mewling in her throat as she watched her brother-in-law beat up his wife. This was the first time Karan had hit her in front of others, the curtain had parted and everyone knew the shameful story now.

Garima and Shashi came running into the room hearing her cries, and Shashi and Nameet managed to drag Karan off of Khushi. They took a slightly cooled-down Karan into the living room, while Garima and Payal managed to check Khushi. They breathed a sigh of relief when they found nothing broken.

"Khushi, you have to learn to be less clumsy, beta. You can't expect the men to forgive you every time", Garima explained to her soothingly, as she put some turmeric on the cut on Khushi's cheek, while Payal made a poultice.

Khushi had long ago given up on getting any support in this house against Karan. They were all afraid of his temper, and wouldn't speak against him. Besides, he was their golden boy, who could do no wrong. Handsome, strong, intelligent, the light of the next generation who was raising the business to even greater heights. She had also seen the bruises, sometimes badly hidden, on Payal's cheek and arms. And she realized that the Guptas would not help her in this situation. This was a family of domestic abusers and the women who accepted this treatment, because this is all they were used to.... This is all they saw and knew.

Slowly some of the pieces fell into place. Why Garima Ma, Vinita and Payal wore such heavy makeup on some days. Why Amruta chose to escape by marrying someone so highly unlike the rest of her family. Why the Guptas chose her for a bride for their wonderful son, an orphan with no family ties or support. Vinita was an orphan too, while Payal's family was lower-middle-class and were supported financially by Akash.

This final humiliation showed her a glimpse into her future. She would turn quiet and subdued like Payal, then cowed and accepting like Vinita, until she started justifying this behavior and propagating it to the next generation like Garima. Is this what she wanted?

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