just friends • luke (julie and the phantoms)

unsaid emily

Amber was reading in the studio when Alex suddenly appeared in front of her.

"I know," he said with tears in his eyes. "Willie told me."

"What are you going to do about it?" Amber said, putting the book down and looking at her toes. She already knew it was about Caleb's stamps and shame started to fill her body to the brim.

"We don't really have a choice, do we?" Alex said, his voice rising in anger. "Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you tell me?"

Amber sighed, knowing that it would happen someday. She just wanted to have found an answer before it did. "Because I feel responsible for it, Alex. I feel like it's my fault, and I've been working nonstop to find a solution."

"We could have helped you! God, Amber, what is it with you and your goddamn pride that makes it impossible for you to accept help? Or to accept that other people actually care about you? Is that why you've been pushing Luke away? Why you always feel the need to remind us that it's been twenty-five years for you? Because it's not fair to any of us that you do this! It's not!" Alex finished. He finally made eye contact with his sister when she looked up, and he immediately felt guilty because tears were streaming down her face.

"Don't you think I know that? I have devoted every second that I could to help all of you, and god forbid I try to protect you from the fact that you could die an extremely painful death. Maybe I wanted you to spend time with Julie! Maybe I know Caleb enough to know that he won't take your knowing lightly and will immediately come after you ten times harder! Maybe I still love Luke and just sentenced him to death as soon as I got him back! Because your condition is my fault. Any chance of Caleb taking the stamp away is gone because of me. And I'm going to carry that with me for eternity." By now, Amber was sobbing, gasping for breath as Alex slowly sat on the couch next to her, taking her hand. "Because I just got you back, Alex! I just got my twin back. My other half. When I was in London, I felt something happen, I suddenly felt whole again, and I knew that I needed to go back to LA. And when I did, there you were. I knew that I was finally whole again. And now I know that either way, I'm going to lose you. If you move on, I lose you. If you die, I lose you. There's no winning here, at least not for me, so I'm sorry that I didn't want you to see me as I deal with this. Because I'm so selfish to make this about me, but I'm flying by the seat of my pants and I don't know how I'm going to do this."

Instead of saying anything, Alex just pulled his sister into his arms and for a few minutes, they cried.

Not long after they finally broke apart, Julie arrived, looking for Luke's songbook. When she saw the twins, she was silent for a moment as Alex shook his head, telling her not to ask.

"I-I was just looking for Luke's songbook. He's seemed so sad lately, and I wanted to do something nice for him."

"What were you thinking?" Amber said, her voice hoarse from crying.

"Unsaid Emily. I'm going to deliver it to his family."

"I'll go with you if that's okay," Amber whispered. "I miss them."

"Okay," Julie whispered, not knowing much about the situation, but knowing that it was what Amber needed at that moment.

"Let's go."

By the time they got to the Patterson house, Luke was already on the porch. All three froze when they made eye contact and Luke's heart raced when he saw the redness around Amber's pupils. He knew that meant she had been crying, and the way she was looking at him made him certain that it was because of the stamps Caleb had gifted them. After all, he knew he well enough to practically know her thoughts.

"What are you doing here?" he said, eerily quiet as Julie started sweating slightly.

"I came here last week with the boys on your birthday... I know it seems like we were spying on you but I wanted to do something nice for you because I know I've been hard on you sometimes and Amber said that I should bring the song to you," the Molina girl rambled. "And I thought it'd be a good idea at the moment, but if you don't want me to, I can leave-"

"No," Luke interrupted. Something inside him was angry and relieved that it had been Amber's idea. That somewhere in her she still cared. He loved her, and he was so tired of her running away from him, so the gesture was touching but he just wished it could've come sooner before she knew he was dying. "Please. Give it to her."

Amber's eyes were shining with tears yet again as she stepped through the threshold of the house. She saw the woman who had practically been her mother after her parents decided she was no longer their problem and for a moment she wanted to break down as Mitch held Emily from behind. All around the house were pictures of Luke as a boy, but in one special corner, there were a plethora of photos of Amber. Some were of her and Luke, but there were a few framed pictures from her obituary and high school yearbooks. The Mercer girl broke down when she saw the quote underneath the picture taken by Mitch of Emily and Amber on the threshold of their house.

"Our daughter; loved always and forever."

Luke watched the girl he loved crumple to the ground and his heart broke as Julie stuttered, unsure of what to do as her friend broke down. The boy nodded at the girl holding the song, and she handed the paper to Emily. Suddenly, Amber could hear Luke's voice around her as Emily started crying as much as the girl next to her who wanted nothing more than to hug the woman she loved as her own mother.

"I... I just wish I could've told him how much she meant to us too," Emily whispered. "We loved her as our own daughter."

"He knew," Julie said, making eye contact with a crying Luke and broken Amber. "Somehow, I know he knew."

As the two ghosts and one living girl left the house, they stopped at the doorstep after Emily closed the door behind them. Luke immediately brought Amber into his arms, not wanting to hold her inside the house in case they became visible again. She cried into his shirt as his tears wet her hair, and Julie watched with tears in her own eyes. Suddenly, the stamp shocked Luke and he held his heart as Amber crumpled to the ground in guilt. Julie was sick to her stomach as the Patterson boy explained what had happened, and decided to leave Luke and Amber to talk. As soon as she was gone, Amber looked into Luke's loving yet hurting eyes, knowing that he deserved so much more than her.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, tears streaming onto her shirt, looking up at the boy she still loved. Apologizing for the stamp, but also for everything she had put him through.

Because he would always deserve so much better than Amber Mercer.

AN: literally cried while writing the quote haha but anyway here's a sad one! next chapter is their talk, and then we have stand tall lol low key excited to be done but sad too :(

please vote and comment! it makes me happier than half baked ice cream after i've been crying!