Making Sense of It: Sukka (on hiatus)

Chapter 10: Suki

A/N: Hey, so this chapter is going to cover a lot of ground, about 1 and 1/2 to 2 months. Anyways, enjoy.

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Suki wasn't sure what she had done to make Sokka run off at Azula's party. In fact, she was pretty sure that she hadn't done anything at all. Like hell was she going to apologize, although when Suki walked into gym class on Monday, she noticed her eyes subconsciously looking for Sokka. He was sitting on the edge of the bleachers. doing something on his phone. Suki frowned and glanced away. She wasn't going to think about Sokka, about the feelings she may or may not have harbored for him. Instead she needed to focus. The semester would be over soon and she needed to make it count.

In science class, Suki wasn't shocked to see that Sokka had chosen a seat far away from his normal spot, but she couldn't help but feel the dull ache of disappointment. She pushed it back and poured all her energy into listening to Piandao's lecture on electromagnetism. Now that she knew more about physics, it was actually pretty interesting, all thanks to Sokka of course. Ugh, she needed to stop thinking about him. 

But as much as she tried, Suki couldn't, and it was driving her insane. A few weeks passed. The soccer season ended, so Suki decided to start running. Maybe she could do track in the spring, something to fill her mind. She eventually found a nice path that threaded through the north side of town, with manicured parks, a nice breakfast place, and a secluded little lake that she could run around. 

It was getting cold, but honestly, she barely felt it. She was too busy thinking. About how this was her senior year, but it didn't feel like it. She couldn't help but feel as if she needed more time. Not to get her grades up, or anything college related, not for any sentimental reasons either. After all, she had just transferred to this school. Maybe that was it. She wanted more time here, even though some of the people were weird. 

"Suki?" Suki looked up at the steps of a ranch house with a wraparound porch and saw Mai. 

"You look terrible," she said. Mai nodded. She was wearing an oversized hoodie and pajama bottoms, and her makeup was running down her face. But maybe that last bit was intentional. 

"I know. I pulled an all nighter to finish my history essay. Come in. You're going to freeze out here." Suki dully registered how cold it was. It was November, and she could see her breath in the form of a misty cloud. She followed Mai into her house. Zuko was sitting on the couch, looking just as tired as Mai. 

"I'll get you some coffee," she said before Suki could protest. She sat on the couch next to Zuko, who glanced up from where he was typing on his computer.

"Have you talked to Sokka at all?" he asked. Suki shook her head.

"I don't think he wants to talk to me," she replied. 

"That's fair," Zuko sighed, "But it's not like it's unique. Sokka never talks to anyone."

"Why are we all talking about Sokka," Mai said, entering the room with a mug of coffee. Suki tried some, and promptly gagged.

"There's no sugar in this!"

"Suck it up, it's good for you. Zuko, it's not Suki's responsibility to worry about Sokka." Suki gradually got used to the coffee. The subject of Sokka was dropped, and she helped Mai and Zuko with their essays, before they both passed out at about noon. But Suki's mind was still on Sokka as she started to walk back home, and that was where it stayed. Eventually, she couldn't take it anymore, and a week or two later she found herself headed to Sokka and Katara's house. It was Katara who opened the door when she knocked.

"Suki?" She said, "It's good to see you! It's been so long!"

"Y-yeah," Suki said confusedly, "Is Sokka home?" Katara shook her head. 

"He went to the store. Do you want to wait or-"

"No, just, maybe tell him that..." she searched for the right words, "Maybe we should talk." Katara's eyes widened. 

"Are you going to ask him on a date?" she said.

"What?! No!" So Sokka hadn't told Katara about what had happened. 

"Sorry," Katara said sheepishly, "It's just, I want the best for him, even though I'm the younger sibling, I feel like I have to look after him." She sighed, "I just want him to move on." 

Suki hesitated before saying,"From Yue moving away?" The expression on Katara's face was pained. 

"I'm not sure if I should be telling you this or not," she whispered, her breath showing up as a pale cloud in the cold, "But... Yue didn't move away. That's just what her parents said. Yue was sick. She had problems with her heart, and... she died, a year and a half ago." Suki couldn't say anything. She and Katara just stared at each other for several seconds, before Katara's phone made a sound. 

"Oh," She said softly, "I- I have to give Gran Gran her medicine." Suki nodded, and Katara disappeared back into the house.

The next day, Suki found Sokka by his locker, but he was in an argument with Katara. All throughout the week, he always seemed busy. But it wasn't just that. After what Katara had told her, Suki felt as though there was a wall between them, and he was impossible to reach, so eventually, she just gave up.

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It was December, and Suki was running. A thick curtain of fog covered the skeletons of trees, and the first flecks of snow were beginning to fall. Suki ran through the neighborhoods, past Mai's house, through the park, the mourning doves giving a sorrowful call. They were the only sounds in an otherwise quiet world. It was the beginning of winter break anyway, why would anyone be awake at 9 in the morning? Suki was just about to head back, maybe skip running around the lake today, when she heard something else. Someone was crying. Suki stepped towards the lake. The snow was falling harder now. There, on one of the benches at the lake's edge, was Sokka. 

Suki gave a sharp intake of breath, and then she was sitting next to him, not paying any mind to the piece of paper and the torn up envelope on the ground. Sokka noticed her. His eyes widened, and Suki could see sadness and loss and despair and loneliness on his face. 

I just want him to move on.

Sokka never talks to anyone.

Suki expected him to tell her to leave, but instead, he just said, so quietly she may have just imagined it, "Thank you." She nodded, and put her hand over his shaking one. Then they sat there for a while, neither of them talking, as the world, for a moment, was still.

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Thank you for Reading :)