The Value Of A Smile

Chapter 6 - Suzuki Aika and Furuta Yukari

Aika ⬆️
I slowly turned around, staring at the floor intensely, trying my absolute hardest to calm myself down, but obviously my social anxiety was letting know of itself.
"Hazumi, please, you can trust me. Sit down in this chair, I just want to have a little talk that's all." I heard the teacher say, above all the ringing in my head.
I managed to nod, and shakily walk over to the chair that the teacher turned around for me. I sat down, and waited for the punch, yell, assault or something.
"Hazumi, I just wanted to ask what you prefer me to call you, Hazumi or Toshiro. I know some students had family troubles and would like me to call them by their first names. What about you?" Mr Kenzo said.
Does he know? He already knows! Could he tell because of me? I'm so stupid! What do I do? Do I tell him? I do want to be called Toshiro because that last name.... oh no.. no forget about him. He's not here. He's not going to come searching for you.... no no NO!!
To...
he will come for me at night... no he won't shut up! He's in jail! He will though... eventually. No he won't!
Toshi.....
Please calm down brain! Stop stop STOP!!
"Toshiro!" Wait... who's calling my name?
"Toshiro breathe. Calm down. Everything is okay."
That's the teacher.... yeah he's right. Dads not here. He won't be here anytime soon. But... no... he might find me... no no no!!
"Toshiro!! Do you..... anything that helps with panic attacks?!"
Ted. Ted!!! I need Ted sir!! Please hear me!!
"Ted?" He heard. Wait... he might not know who he is... he'll see him.. he'll touch my Ted.. no that's bad.. stop stop... please just stop....
"Toshiro. Calm down. Ted's here." I heard the teacher say, and suddenly I felt the familiar soft toy in my arms.... Ted.

I took a deep breath. I hugged Ted tightly, and my breathing calmed down. I noticed the teachers hand on my shoulder, and flinched. I think he noticed because he quickly took his hand back and looked me in the eyes.
"You're okay here Toshiro." He said. "I'm guessing you want me to call you by your first name?" I nodded and looked down at the floor in embarrassement. Did he hear everything that I thought? About my dad? I hope he didn't...
"I don't know what's going on in your family, but I promise not to ask if you don't want me to know. Just know that Mr Kenzo is always ready to help. Okay?"
Ok so he didn't hear. That's good.
"...y...yeah o..okay..." I stuttered out.
Then the bell rang and kids started coming in as I walked back to my desk and quickly hid Ted back into my bag. I looked up at the teacher and saw him smiling at me. I looked down again.
I like Mr Kenzo, he's nice.

The two periods of math and English finished, and the bell for lunch rang. This time, the teacher didn't call me over, so I packed my stuff and left the classroom.
I decided that I need fresh air, so I went up the stairs to the rooftop. Once I opened the door, my breath hitched. The view was fantastic.
A little fence was around the rooftop of this building, and all around it were the buildings of the city. The sun sparkled in the windows, and the shining made beautiful light illusions. I exhaled, and continued walking to the edge. Once I reached the fence, I looked over the fence and sighed. Yeah yeah Ted I know. I won't don't worry.

I stepped away and sat in a corner beside the fence, leaning against it. I took out my food, because I didn't know that the school had a cafeteria then, and started eating. After I finished, I packed it away and took out Ted, then hugged him and looked out to the stunning view again. It was so calming seeing the sun shine off the buildings and form rainbows on the ground of other buildings while holding Ted close. I closed my eyes for a moment, and breathed in the cold air.

Suddenly I heard a female voice behind me.
"Hey! You're Toshiro right?"
I froze as my eyes shot opened. Not now. Please not now. Just a bit more peace. Please.
"Shh Aika! Don't yell so loud he'll get nervous!" A second, male voice said. Nervous? Why do they care? They didn't come to beat me up?
"Oh yeah... sorry. Anyway," I felt two people sit next to me. "You're Toshiro right?" The female voice said.
"Of course he is Aika! Stop playing dumb." The make voice scolded the female again. "So what are you doing sitting alone here?" The male voice asked.
I slowly looked up, tightly squeezing Ted in my arms and turned around to face the two people who just suddenly came in.
There I saw a girl and a boy.
The girl had brown hair and bright purple eyes that sparkled in the sunlight. She was twirling her hair in between her fingers and looking at me questioningly. She had the school girls blue tie, and girl uniform - dark blue skirt and white shirt. She was also wearing white socks and black shoes.