The Rapture

TEN

PEARL

I am dying.

That wasn't what I thought he would say. In fact, that was the last thing I thought he would say. You talk too much, you're too emotional. Not I'm dying. He seemed strong and reserved as always.

What did a healthy alien even look like?

Sadness crept inside my chest and crawled around like the cockroaches from the bomb shelter. Dying? He saved my life days ago, and I was determined to become his friend and do my best to win him over.

I had already forgiven him for being insufferable at first. I would not judge him based on first interactions as everybody did me, just like Flynn did.

Odd thinking about him now that he was probably dead. Along with everybody else. My chest ached, sadness pooling inside of me. There are still survivors, I reminded myself.

So Dumuzi wasn't immortal. I had pictured him as such, and that the beings his kind created—humans—were mortals. Wouldn't they have advanced enough to figure out how to live forever?

Maybe they didn't want to.

"I do not mind the prospect of death," he said, almost as if he were reading my thoughts. "Death is natural. Why would I want to be your friend, just to have that taken away from you? There are other humans that will be saved that could be your friend. Wherever you decide to go, I am sure one will be there."

My lips pressed into a line as he spoke. Something about that felt wrong. As if he thought I could replace his friendship with somebody else's. That didn't sit right with me. Having an alien friend seemed pretty amazing; humans were a dime a dozen.

Well, maybe not anymore.

My voice was heavy with concern. "Why, exactly, are you dying?"

The synthetic light from the bulb above me made his hair shimmer like silver strands. He seemed pained and oddly still. Which was new for him yet an easily recognizable emotion. Maybe I chipped away at him too much?

His voice became sharp and accusatory, such a drastic change from a few moments ago. He went from still to rigid; a gargantuan statue beside me. "Because of you."

My mouth popped open. I scrambled into a better position on the couch, resting on my knees. I stared up at him, sure the frown on my face was pretty apparent. A sharp stab of pain poked at my chest. Blinking rapidly, I just gaped at him, unsure of what to say.

What the fuck did he mean?

"Me? How? I've done nothing to you."

He folded his arms, putting some space between us. "I am very much aware of this."

"Then why would you say–?"

Something in him changed, and I was too stupid enough to realize it until it was too late. "Enough."

His voice was deep, like grinding boulders, full of so much authority that all I could do was shrink on the couch. He made me feel like a child again; powerless to argue or disobey. Getting upset with him would have been pointless.

He was the one in charge, it seemed, no matter how much he had warmed up to me, and I had to accept that.

Whether or not I liked it.

He turned to move to the door, and I sprung to my feet without thinking. "Wait! You can't just say something like that and leave! Promise me you'll come back!"

I nearly tripped over the rug in the middle of the living room in my haste to get to him. I wanted him to explain himself, but if I crossed a line, I'd be more careful if that was all it took to keep him here. Some kind of automatic system clicked, turning on the lights in the living room. It was darker outside, so maybe that was why.

"I have answered enough questions."

He was already through the door by the time I got to the entryway. When it clicked shut, I flinched. I stared at it, puzzled, my mind fluttering with confusion. How could he be so calm, serene, and soft one moment, and so cold the next?

What did he mean I was killing him?

I put my hands in my hair, sinking down to the floor. Too much. This was all just too much. Guilt and shame warred within my system as I tried to go over our conversations, trying to pinpoint what exactly went wrong.

What did I say? What did I do?

Rain pelted the windows. Thunder rolled, shaking the home. Lightning blazed across the dark clouds outside. As the rain intensified, the thunder became a constant rumble. The sound of the storm soon filled the entire house.

If I wasn't so confused and hurt, I would have snuck a peek outside of the windows to see what the storm looked like in more detail, because damn, that storm came on fast. Instead, I curled into a ball, wondering if I'd ever see him again.

You always ruin everything.

But I wasn't trying to. His explanation made no sense. Suddenly, I was angry. Gnashing my teeth together, I let out a huff and dug my nails into my palm as I made fists. He was keeping something from me, wasn't he? That would be the only rational explanation for his odd behavior.

It's not that big of a deal. You guys just met.

I bit my tongue until I tasted copper. He was there in that field with the researchers when he possibly saved my life. Dumuzi spared me from the apocalypse, proclaiming it was my inquisitiveness that saved me. He believed all humans were bad, but saved me. Instead of days, I felt like I somehow knew him for years.

None of this made sense.

Tears sprung into my eyes. Wiping them away furiously, I got up and made my way to the kitchen. Stupid, jerk-faced alien. I opened the fridge, poking around for something to drown my feelings. Why did he just leave like that?

Too bad this place didn't seem to have booze.

My eyes went over the many plastic-looking containers housing what looked to be fruits. Some of them were purplish and speckled. Then I saw what looked to be actually strawberries.

Whatever.

I tore open the pack and scoffed them down with miserable tears streaming down my cheeks. From the outside, I probably looked pretty pathetic. From the inside, I was more pissed off with myself. I was used to rejection, so why did this bother me so much?

He had told me not to filter my personality, which meant he could handle it. So it wasn't my personality. There was something more to him, too, something I wanted to learn about. Sure, my priorities were winning him over and changing his mind about my kind, but...

My mind went to that steamy dream, and I made a face. My reaction to him touching me was also pretty... telling. Did I seriously have some kind of infatuation with him? 

If so, that was probably the weirdest and most uncomfortable thing ever.

I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

"Just because he saved your life doesn't mean you have to have a crush on him," I told myself, hiccuping. "S-stop being a dumbass."

I just wanted to be his friend. There was nothing wrong with that, but apparently, there was to him.

I tore off another bite of a strawberry, flinching when a bolt of lightning flashed a bit too close to the house. The following thunder rattled whatever dishes were in the cabinets. Even though I was in a better dwelling, in a place that felt more like home, I never felt so alone.

If I was the one killing him... did that mean I could never see him again?

Something about that sort of sucked.