The Rapture

TWENTY

DUMUZI

Not enough.

To support my balance, I placed my palm on the slick wall in front of me. Burning water flowed down my back, spilling onto the marbleized stones below. As my body protested the infuriatingly minuscule amount of dopamine rushing through my veins, an ache throbbed in every bone in my body, both hearts pounding fast.

Pearl.

I did not rely on microbiotics to ease the agony of my desire. I concluded masturbation would be a good way to remedy my issue.

I was mistaken.

Not nearly enough.

My brothers may regard me as weak for empathizing, but I would be sorry for everything to be inside her. There was not a part of her I did not ache to touch–to taste, to caress, to discover; to leave my mark on, bask in her femininity, and to declare her as mine throughout the cosmos.

My aching arousal desired Pearl, not the hand that stroked my length, spurring groans from the back of my throat. It was similar to extinguishing a blaze with a handful of water. Her pheromones had been removed from the water, which should have helped me clear my mind, but it left me missing her company. She had told me yes, she was willing to be mine.

Did she have any idea what I would do to her, the moment I held her intimately?

No.

I rested both of my hands on the wall in front of me. My pleasure was hers if she wanted it. If I was worthy of her having it.

I would never be worthy of her to begin with.

I was apprehensive about solidifying our bond and becoming an official pair. Humans were incompatible with a mate who would spend every waking moment mating for days, if not weeks, putting them at risk of dehydration, exhaustion, and bodily harm...

This needed to be explained to her before—

Before I lose myself completely.

It had been weeks since I had slept well. Recently, my appetite had been insatiable. This was my body's way of preparing for the nutritional deficiency that would occur during the final bonding process. Because of being around Pearl, she hastened my death.

It was unclear how much time I had left, so I stopped checking.

My body was steadily deteriorating. My hearts were having difficulty pumping blood, causing dizzying palpitations. I was adept at hiding this from her, but my control was slipping.

I exited the washroom and dressed, neglecting my wet hair. I was no longer concerned with appearances. I typically preened over my appearance, as most male Enukis do, but I had a meeting with the council in ten minutes.

They had grown accustomed to my mood and contempt for formality in recent weeks. Osa hummed at me, a hologram informing me that Pearl was experiencing emotional distress. That was not surprising, given the things she learned today.

I cast my gaze through the window to my right, eyeing the silver dome of a dwelling where my mate was. Mine.

My hand on the window frame tightened, dust particles falling down and coating the front of my jacket. My fingers dug into the dark rock, paying tribute to anybody who argued against that truth.

Anyone except for her.

I spent the previous five centuries concentrating on mathematics, science, and astronomy. I believed that the next discovery, the next successful experiment was elation. I could bend waves of light and make complicated and simple life; I could study the principles of dark gravity and harness the cosmos' enormous power; I could manipulate the entire universe.