Viridian: The Green Guide

Chapter 37: Goals

Katsuki stared at his paper blankly with the sound of pens scratching on paper around him as a taunting backdrop to his most recent failure. According to Amplifier, for this most recent exercise, he was supposed to be writing a list to describe the kind of person he wanted to be, but he was at a loss.

Nobody else seemed to be having problems with the assignment. As soon as Amplifier had said go, each of the villains had started writing furiously, making Katsuki feel even more ridiculous for sitting here ten minutes later with nothing to show for his work but a few scribbles and a headache.

His entire life, he'd always known who he wanted to be. He was going to be the best and that was all there was to it. There was no point in worrying about being mean, or angry, or anything else because all that mattered was getting to the top, which was what had ended him in this whole mess, so it obviously wasn't good enough. But if he wasn't shooting to be the best, then who was he trying to be?

His first thought was that he could be like All Might. De...Izuku had always said he was going to be just like All Might and save people with a smile. Kids all over the place wanted to be like All Might, so it couldn't be a bad goal. The only problem was that while a part of Katsuki wanted that, the bigger part knew it just wasn't realistic. He wasn't the kind of person who could save people with a smile. He was scary, so while his smile might be able to terrify villains, civilians would probably scream and run away.

Which honestly made him more similar to Endeavor, but that didn't seem quite right either. Endeavor wasn't just harsh to his fans, he was downright rude, and probably more violent than he needed to be when taking down villains. In short, he reminded Katsuki way too much of how he'd acted his entire life so far, and staying a bully wasn't an option anymore.

His commitment letter to Izuku felt heavy in his pocket as he made another scribble in the corner of his paper so it wouldn't look like he was just sitting there doing nothing like an idiot. Amplifier said the letters were for them, and Katsuki honestly didn't know how he'd explain the whole thing to Izuku and Auntie Inko, so he'd ended up folding up the letter and putting it in his wallet instead of delivering it.

He wasn't sure if he liked or hated having it with him all the time. It made his wallet feel heavier somehow. It was like the weight of all his actions was always with him as a constant reminder, but at the same time it was like putting the weight in his pocket had taken it out of his heart. Katsuki rolled his eyes as he made another scribble. That sounded too damn sappy, it was like...well, he didn't know how to explain it, but it didn't feel so overwhelming anymore. It was almost like he might actually be able to become better someday.

"Alright, everyone! Good work today!" Amplifier's voice made him jump. "Be sure to remember what you wrote down today during this next week. That dream person you described is your goal from now on and I know that if you work hard, you can get there! See you next week!"

Katsuki crumpled the blank paper in his fist and shoved it in his pocket as he stalked toward the door, "Later, Amplifier."

"Sure thing, Bakugo." Amplifier said cheerfully. "Be good this week!"

Katsuki scoffed out of habit before pushing open the door and rushing to leave the community center before Ogawa and the others could try and talk to him. He really didn't want to deal with them right now, not after his absolute failure during today's exercise.

The universe, however, apparently didn't care what he wanted, "Hey, Bakugo! Wait up!"

Katsuki hunched his shoulders a little more and pretended he hadn't heard Ogawa's peppy voice behind him as he walked a little faster. Unfortunately, he was a still-growing teenager and the extras that had decided to adopt him for some reason were full grown adults with much longer legs, which meant that he didn't get very far before he had to step backwards to avoid running into Maki's giant body as he stepped in front of him.