Viridian: The Green Guide

Chapter 97: Care

Izuku didn't really know what had come over him last night, but he hadn't really known how to help Eraserhead, so he'd somehow decided that the best option was to lead him to people who could and somehow pulled the audacity out of nowhere to do just that. he picked at his lunch, angry that he couldn't help feeling almost jealous of Eraserhead, and then he felt guilty for being jealous, and he also felt a little bit like a hypocrite, which made him feel even more guilty and the whole process was just illogical and stupid. But the truth was that Eraser actually had those people...Izuku didn't.

He shouldn't be jealous! It sucked that one of Eraserhead's best friends was torn from him! But at least he had friends to tear away in the first place. Sure, Izuku had Mom, but she was his mother and was therefore obligated to love him, so it didn't feel like she counted. He had Kacchan too, of course, but even if they were slowly figuring things out, Izuku couldn't say they were close.

And then there was Denki. He was the closest Izuku had ever come to what Eraserhead had, but a big part of it still didn't feel real sometimes. He was just a quirkless weakling, how could he deserve the friendship of someone as amazing as Denki? Eraser would probably just roll his eyes if he could hear what Izuku was thinking right now. He'd probably say that friendship wasn't something people deserved , it was just something they tried to make work, but Izuku just couldn't figure out why every time he spiraled, he pushed Denki away. So between being quirkless and his own bad habits, he didn't have a group of people to rely on like Eraser did, but Izuku wanted one. So badly.

Which was exactly why he felt like a hypocrite. He hadn't even hesitated to drag Eraserhead to his friends when he was having a hard time, but how many times had Izuku just run away when Eraser had tried to help him? He just felt like such a burden. He wanted to be comforted, but he didn't want to bother Eraser or Denki just because he was a little sad. It was like he just couldn't win!

"Izuku, baby?" Mom's concerned voice startled him into dropping his fork. "Are you feeling alright? You've hardly touched your food..."

Izuku forced a bright smile, "I'm fine, Mom, really! I'm just a little tired, I guess..."

Mom gave him a kind look that made it clear she didn't believe a word of that, "You're worried about Kaminari and Katsuki, aren't you?"

Izuku latched onto the half truth like a lifeline, even though it was pretty much just an excuse for his mood, "Is it really that obvious?"

"It's exactly what I would expect you to feel." Mom said. "They're training to be heroes, so danger is a part of that, but that doesn't mean you aren't still going to be worried about them. If you'd gone into the hero course like you wanted to when you were younger, I would have worried about you too."

"I'm sorry..." Izuku shrunk in on himself. This was exactly why he was a vigilante, not a hero. "I don't want you to worry about me."

Mom tilted her head, "Do you not want me to love you?"

Izuku startled and stared up at her with wide eyes, "What?!"

Mom giggled, "Well, you worry about the people you care about, baby! I worry because I love you, not because I don't trust you or because I think you're going to get yourself hurt. I just don't want you to be in pain."

"Oh..." Izuku's head spun slightly. "But I don't want people to worry about me."

"I know, baby." Mom smiled sadly. "But it's part of what makes caring about someone worth it."

Izuku bit his lip and let himself process that, "But don't you hate it? I don't want to hurt you, or Denki, or anyone! I...I just want you guys to be happy."