Chapter Thirty Three

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"I should've listened to you, Niri

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"I should've listened to you, Niri. None of this would've happened if I'd just listened to you."

Niribili stroked Junak's hair as he lay sprawled on the bed with his head on her lap. Banhi sat on the other end of the bed, going through the day's shoots on her laptop. "I can't believe he came out to his parents," Niribili said.

"Me neither," Junak muttered. Wasn't it just two weeks ago that Dikhou had struggled to accept it himself? To imagine him standing in front of his family and... and his mother was so scary! God, the amount of courage it must've taken! Junak could not even tell Dikhou how proud he was, how, at that moment, all Junak wanted to do was run up to him and pull him into a hug.

"He really likes you, you know," Niribili said softly.

Junak played with the hem of his cardigan. "Weren't you the one who had disapproved?"

"That was then, and this is now." Niribili put her hand over Junak's, making him look at her. "He really likes you, Jun."

He sucked in a deep breath and rolled away from Niribili to lie on his stomach. "It's too late now."

"Why?" Banhi asked, closing the laptop. "Why'd you push him away?"

A part of Junak was irritated that they were poking at his still-bleeding wound, but it was shadowed by the part of him that was glad they were there for him. "What do you mean, why? You heard the villagers that day. Well, not you, but Niri gave you the gist, didn't she? I – Dikhou shouldn't be seen with me."

"But he said he's out–"

"To his family," Junak interrupted Banhi. "That's very different from all the shitty people in the village."

"Jun." Niribili's voice was inhumanly calming. He buried his face on the bed. "I know you're scared."

He wanted to scoff. She had no idea what it was like to stand atop that rock, facing death behind him and something even worse, perhaps, in front of him. She did not understand. None of them did.

We don't want filth like you in our village, those guys had said and all the villagers shared the sentiment.

Junak thought he was done being scared of homophobes, but he had been stupid. He had let the flash and glitter of the cities blind him to what was real.

To the very dark, grey reality where people, the people Dikhou lived with, could hurt him.

Junak wouldn't let it happen. He wouldn't be able to live if anything happened to Dikhou.

"Do you want to know what I think?" Niribili asked.

Yes. No. He nodded.

"You should talk to him. Honestly. Tell him your concerns."

"He wouldn't understand."

"How do you know that? Do you trust him so little?"

"It's not about trust. It's..."

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