The Fairy King and his Cursed Queen ✔

14 | ONE WING

We were led into yet another room, me with the shard hidden under my kilt—this skirt was certainly handy.

Bobore took interest in it as we walked. "It is quite fashionable."

I stepped into the room and assured him, "More for practicality than aesthetics. Lost my phallus in a war." His mouth hung open and I wasn't surprised to find him studying the princess's clothes as well. "Her? It was the nipples."

More than one elf shuffled out, horrified. Bobore considered my words for a long minute before exiting as well.

As soon as the door closed, the princess slapped my arm. "What did you do that for?"

I revealed the mirror shard and looked around the hovel. "They are going to eat us. And I can't say that I blame them. Two unknown entities claiming to be the fairy king and queen, walking around in clothes. Hell, I'd order something to eat us, too."

As I moved around, looking for any sort of weakness in the structure, the princess remained rigid.

"Will they—will they honestly eat us?"

They most certainly would. My search came up empty and I found myself standing before her. The worry in her gaze broke me.

In my left hand, I held the mirror, but I used my right to caress her face as I lied, "Of course, not. Once they know who we are, everything will go differently." She wasn't convinced so I put the shard into my pocket and took her by both hands. "Listen, I've slipped two stones into the stew. As soon as they know who we are, they'll give us a customary dinner. It'll mean passing the meal from person to person to get it to the other end of the table. We've just got to scoop them all out before anyone notices. Then." I clapped. "We're all set."

"And how do we convince them of that?"

Of course, I had no idea!

After a moment, it occurred to me. "Our clothes. We must take them off. Fairies simply don't have any."

"I don't want to go around naked," she argued.

This woman.

"Besides, I don't think we can now. Thanks to you."

I leaned away, insulted. "Me?"

"Your lie. You just told them you had no penis. Won't this show us both to be liars? Is that really all right?"

Despite my mouth opening to convey some choice words, it snapped shut again with nothing to utter beyond, "Right...."

After a moment, she said, "I have an idea."

My eyes met hers.

"Is it safe to assume that elves are a bit...paranoid?"

"Understatement."

"Then we're confusing them." At my diminished comprehension, she explained, "We've always fought."

Shock stole my response. But less so of her words and more for the fact that...I didn't want to fight her.

I took a step back and she noticed.

"We can just make a few strikes."

The suggestion wasn't one I wanted to entertain. Funny how things had turned around so thoroughly that now I was the one running from a battle with her.

"But we're finally alone," I complained. "That is literally the last thing on my mind."

I wasn't sure her thoughts ran along the same lines but after scanning the little dingy room, she draped her arms over my shoulders then went on the tip of her toes to steal a kiss.