Uncontrollably Yours

Toxic Masculinity

I was going to wait until class on Monday, but Thursday evening, I saw Monty sitting alone in the studying lounge.

The studying lounge is a big area with numerous tables spread out, and each one surrounded by cushioned chairs or a small couch. There's a few long, tall tables with stools for bigger study sessions, and then secluded rooms with soundproof, glass walls for private tutoring.

Monty is alone, sitting on a chair in the corner, listening to music with his AirPods in. He looks to be doing math as he types an equation into a huge calculator.

I walk up to him and plop down on the chair in front of him. He's startled when I do so, but he takes a deep breath and takes an AirPod out. "Hey," I greet.

"Uh, hey," he responds, but it comes off more as a question. Monty's wearing a black hoodie that looks like he turned into a crop-top using kitchen scissors, and Nike sweatpants. As per usual, the waistband of his briefs are showing.

Monty sets down the calculator and notes.

"I just wanted to tell you, I get it."

He raises his- shit, I meant, they raise their eyebrows, "get what?"

"Non-binary. You don't feel more feminine or more masculine, so you don't identify with pronouns, right? They, them. I get it," I restate.

He smiles (Fuck! They smile! Ugh!), "what, You finally google searched that?"

"I asked my gay friend what it means." Monty looks amused. "So, um," why do I feel nervous, what the fuck? "I wanted to say, I was an asshole, sorry." I've apologized twice this week, that's more times than I've ever apologized before. This person's really making me kill my pride.

They chuckle, "I accept your apology."

I nod, "cool." What now? Should I leave? I kind of want to hang out. That would be lame though, plus, I interrupted him studying. I'm about to stand up while speaking, "I'll let you get back to-" but Monty interrupts me.

"Hey, have you ever been to a drag show?"

"Drag racing?" I sit back down.

They laugh, "no, goof-ass, drag, like drag queen. Ya' know, men dressing in dramatic makeup, wigs, dancing..?"

"Oh. No, I definitely have never gone to a drag show," I tell them, grimacing. Men dressing as women? That's disgusting.

Monty sighs, "I forgot about your judgmental, toxic masculinity," he says as he puts an AirPod back in, "never mind." They eye me before picking up their calculator and returns to his equations.

What the fuck? "Hey," I snatch the calculator out of his- their- hands. Monty's eyebrow raises, taking an earbud out. "I do not have 'toxic masculinity'. And I'm not judgmental."

"Really? Prove it. Come to my show tomorrow night."

"You do drag?" How does that not surprise me.

Monty begins packing their things in their book bag while speaking, "Yeah. I perform at The Coven, it's a gay club downtown," they stand up with their bag fully packed and stationed over Monty's shoulder. Monty looks me up and down before meeting my eyes, "the theme tomorrow is 50's. Show starts at eleven PM."

"I'm not wasting my Friday night to go to some gay bar." I tell them, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Twenty bucks says you'll have fun."

I scoff, "I doubt that."

They shrug. "See you there." And Monty walks away.

**

I love drag shows, they're so much fun! I'm excited for next chapter!!

Comment what you think! And vote to help out Monty and Preston ;)

Thank you for reading <3

-Xoxo, Bert