REVENGE

FIXING THE BROKEN

Shana was sitting in the shower crying as the water ran over her, scrubbing herself off repeatedly, and later went to sit in the corner when Benjamin stepped inside. He turned the faucet off and took a towel before he took her by her hand and pulled her up from the floor. He then wrapped the towel around her before he pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her. "Hey, well get through this."

"I just want to get them off me. I still feel them clinging to me. I still smell them. I feel them."

"It's going to take time, Shana. But they're all gone now, and I'm here." He kissed her on top of her head. "Hey listen. I'll make us breakfast while you get dressed. Bacon and scrambled eggs. What do you say?"

"I'm not hungry."

"You've got to eat something honey."

"I don't feel too good."

"What's the matter?"

"I feel nauseous." She pushed Benjamin away and made a b line for the toilet and threw up.

"Oh dear."

"Oh gosh, what's wrong with me?"

"Maybe it's food poisoning."

"What did I eat that you didn't?"

"I don't know. Listen, maybe we should skip the bacon and eggs and get you to the hospital. I need to go in today anyway because I work double shift this week, then we can get something in the cafeteria after we had you checked out."

"You know how I feel about doctors and hospitals, Benjamin."

"And the irony is I'm a doctor too. And I don't bite. You of all people know that."

*****

Shana was laying in E.R. waiting for her test results when Benjamin stepped through the curtains dressed in scrubs and a lab coat with his stethoscope draped around his neck. "How's my patient doing? Have you heard anything yet?"

"No..."

At that moment Tracey McLeod stepped through the curtains and looked at Shana's file. "Your lab results came back." She looked at both Shana and Benjamin concerned. "Shana, you're pregnant."

Shana gave a defeated sigh. "Oh damn no."

Benjamin bowed his head and closed his eyes before he balled his hand in a fist in front of his mouth. "Please excuse me..." He stepped outside and stood nearby trying to gather his composure.

Tracey stepped outside too and walked up to Benjamin. "Dr. Franklin."

"Those men raped her and got her pregnant..."

"I know..."

"What's next? I'm going to hear she's got an STD or AIDS or...what the hell?"

"She's cleared for STDs. You haven't had sex with her since she got out of jail?"

"No, we haven't because first of all she's still not over what happened to her and she's still vulnerable and I don't want to do anything that might provoke her and cause more trauma. It's going to take a lot of time before we get to a place where she is ready for an intimate relationship again."

"How are her psychiatry sessions working?"

"She's still not a hundred percent, but at least she lets me close now. She still has night terrors and wakes up screaming, but at least I don't have to sleep on the sofa anymore."

"Have you thought maybe going for couple's counseling?"

"Is now the right time?" Benjamin asked concerned.

"Are you okay with going without sex for so long?"

"Yeah, I'm okay, for as long as it takes. If I could go without it for three years, another three won't kill me."

"Okay then. But you know where to find me when you change your mind."

Benjamin grimaced as he watched Tracey walk off and went back to Shana. He stepped through the curtains where she was laying on the bed, crying. "Whatever you decide to do with the baby, you have my back." He took her hand in his and sat down on the chair next to her before he looked at her concerned.

"I don't even know who the father is," she sobbed. "What kind of woman doesn't even know who the father of her baby is. Worst of all, you're my boyfriend and it's not even yours."

"I'm not going to hold it against you. If you decide to get rid of it, I won't hold it against you either. And if you decide to keep it, I will accept it as my own and give you and the baby the life you deserve. Or if you decide to give it up for adoption. Whatever you decide."

"I can't do this to you, Benjamin."

"Shae..."

"Maybe it's best we call it quits."

"We had this talk yesterday, Shae..."

"Do you really want to date wrecked goods?"

"Do you want me out of your life so badly?" Benjamin asked discouraged.

"I can't be with anyone right now."

"Well if that's what you want, I guess there's no way I can stop you. It's no use I keep fighting for you and us and all you want is out. I won't hold you back if that's what you want. I'll go and drop you off at home and arrange for a plane ticket to L.A. if that's what you want."

*****

Benjamin parked his car in front of the house and got out to open the door for Shana. He walked to the front door and opened it to let her inside. "We can talk about your travel arrangements and what you plan to do with the baby when I get home tonight."

"Okay."

Shana went inside and closed the door before Benjamin walked back to his car. He sat there for a while before he started weeping. Was it really over between them? Was it really what she wanted. Was she so hurt by someone else that she lost her love for him too?

Benjamin started the car and drove off. Back at the hospital, he went to sit in the break room to try and gather his emotions. Tracey knocked on the door and went inside. "Are you alright?"

"No."

She went to sit on the couch next to him. "You can talk to me. I'm not one of the best listeners, but I can try."

"I think Shana and I are over. She wants out. I thought I could save us, but I guess I was wrong."

"Were you okay before what happened?"

"Yes. We were more than okay. I was going to get a ring and propose to her after the filming. And then this happened. I still want to marry her..."

"You know what I think?"

"No..."

"Let her go to L.A. but keep your options open. If she chooses to come back, then at least she's still free to do so."

"I don't think I'm going to move on to anyone else soon if she decides to leave for good. It will take me a while to get over her."

"She's lucky to have you, Benjamin. I don't know if she realizes it."